Helpful tips for someone wondering “can my marriage be saved?”
Today more than any other time in the history of marriage, the rate of divorce has multiplied to some unbelievable levels. There is an increased concern from all quarters as people ask the question “can my marriage be saved?” almost every day. The institution of marriage seems to be in trouble today more than any other time in history. It is important to understand that any marriage can be saved if only the two people involved are willing to have it healed.
Have you been asking how “can my marriage be saved?” Well, there are numerous things that you should understand if this is the situation you are in. Below are some of the things that you should consider:
Can my marriage be saved by admitting that I need help?
To begin with, you must never shy away from admitting that your marriage is in deep trouble and that you need help. A spouse who has this question in their mind would want things to appear normal from outside but the truth of the matter is that this does not help in any way. The first step towards the healing of your marriage does not lie in just wondering “can my marriage be saved?” but in what you do after this question has risen in your mind.
Your marriage can be saved by working together with your spouse.
Never assume that things will work themselves out miraculously. Many people normally bury their heads in the sand ignoring or totally pretending that the problem will disappear on its own. You must come up with a plan that includes identifying the problem and how to go about it. It must be noted, however, that this is not an easy thing to do. It is, however, also worth noting that divorce is not the easiest thing to do. If you can’t solve the issue on your own, then discuss seeking a counsellor’s help in order to save you marriage.
Marriage can be saved by understanding that your marriage is heading towards divorce
Those asking “can my marriage be saved” normally do so after having suffered for too long and are almost on the brink of divorce. It is important to agree that the problem is not one-sided; it involves the two people in the marriage and therefore, the solution can only come from the two. Pointing fingers and the blame game is not the way to go and each spouse should look deep within themselves to see their contribution to the problem. Be flexible and seek to make things better by compromising during the solution seeking moments.
Many who have been wondering how “can my marriage be saved?” normally lack the patience to deal with issues amicably. Many normally see divorce as the better way, but the truth of the matter is that this is more painful than humbling through the process of healing. Repairing a marriage in trouble takes more than a few hours and patience is of great importance. You must give full attention to the process.
Can my marriage be saved by asking for professional help?
Professional help from a pastor or counsellor is also important if you are wondering “how can my marriage be saved?” and especially if the problems are more than you can handle between the both of you. The involvement of a third party should come as one of the last things you do.
It is important to note that every marital problem can be solved instead of ending in divorce. There is never a perfect spouse and leaving your spouse for another person will only be like jumping from a pan into a flame of fire. With patience, you will find that the power to answer the question on “how can my marriage be saved” lies within you and your spouse.
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Marital Stress! How to Overcome the Conflict
You will be able to deal with all the conflicts that you may experience in your marriage.
Below is a list of common sources of marital stress and conflict.
Couple would argue over their debt, bills or any other financial matters. More important is that how efficient they are to manage those problems without causing any side effects to the family. Your behaviour towards your spouse concerning finance will reflect your decisions.
A child may be the main reason for your problem. The child may cause stress in a marriage. You may differ in several matters in respect of your child’s educational policy, caring issues, discipline, etc.
Other sources of stress include infidelity, frequency, quality and quantity of sex. They are all reasons for causing disharmony in a marriage.
4. Time apart
It may also be a reason for a conflict in a marriage. The lack of time to spend with each other will lead to a number of sex problems.
5. Household Responsibilities
This issue is the most important one you can see in your neighbourhood. The couple argues for equitable distribution of their household work. At the same time, they start telling each other, what one did and what one didn’t. The conflict is liable to be thick when they come to the harder side of it.
You may come across scores of friends in your life. Some of them are only out to spoil your time and behaviour. But you can separate the good from the bad, and give the good your plus points. Don’t allow anyone to spoil your life in marriage. Your indifference to them will allow you to acquire bad quality friends.
7. Irritating habits
It is common that some people getting married will have undesirable behaviour. Any bad points you will get from your spouse will have a long-acting effect on your marriage. If you can tell your spouse what your bad habits are and how you are trying to fix them, it will help you to solve the issues to a greater extent when a problem arises out of it.
You are not free from your children, siblings, in-laws, step-children etc. Some will have only a small number of members and some have a long way to go with their members.
All of them will have a different mixing effect on your marriage. All the negative issues arising out of several unforeseen matters could be solved judiciously if you have a mind to solve them. Don’t allow them in any way to harm your marriage.
You will have a number of expectations in marriage. Sometime most of them become unmet expectations. All your dreams may not be realised. When your dreams don’t come true, you start thinking of negatively, leading sometimes to a collapse of your marriage.
Your personality dictates who you are. If you are not eager to attend to all the needs of your spouse, or if you are always negative in response to your spouse’s needs, then you need abrupt changes, or else you may meet with something unusual in the near future.
Make Marital Stress a non-issue
If not taken seriously, all the views expressed above are liable to pose a severe marriage conflict in your life. You are the person to decide how to make a change in your behaviour. All problems causing stress are to be handled with utmost importance giving them a positive approach to solve sympathetically. You should know how to overcome them. Go ahead. Be aware of the problems.
Identifying major marriage issues and how to deal with them
With the rate of divorce and separations rising with every dawning day, there are many marriage issues that one cannot simply ignore. Ignoring these issues will only work to the quick destruction of the marriage relationship something that will create long lasting heartbreak affects the involved couples. One can, however, be able to mend the relationship progressively by resisting the temptation to ignore these marriage issues when they arise.
To be able to deal with the marriage issues amicably, one will have to understand what they are and the impact they have on the relationship. It is always effective when you are fighting an enemy you know rather than beating your punches against the air. There are many marriage issues as outlined below, but the truth of the matter is that every marriage is unique, just as every couple is unique.
one of the many challenges that couples have in a marriage is with communication
- One of the main marriage issues dogging many couples today is the issue of communication. This can be said to be a result of great dynamics between the husbands and wives as they are created. Men are generally the “quieter” lot, while women have a lot to say concerning life and issues. It is unfortunate that many couples do not know how to handle these dynamics, leading to a whole lot of marriage issues. A couple must learn the best way to communicate with each other if the marriage is to work. Husbands should learn how to listen to their wives more as the wives learn how to handle the personality of the husband.
Learn to forgive in order to help resolving your marriage issues
- Some marriage issues today are a result of lack of forgiveness. While couples should mature more and develop some positive traits progressively, it is bad to expect your spouse to be perfect. Issues that have been solved and discussed should be let go of and not revisited again. Avoid rehearsing your spouse’s mistakes at a later date after they have been solved.
Lack of money another source that creating lots of marriage issues and creates clashed in a relationship
- Money is another source of grave marriage issues today. Many marriages have crumbled and couples parted way simply because they could not agree on matters to do with finances. Some argue on the way money is spent, while others stress, since they feel like what they have is not enough. Couples should plan their finances together and avoid trying to live beyond their means. This will help in easing the pressure on the marriage and this will definitely put a lot of marriage issues to bed. Talk about your finances freely and not only on how to spend, but also how you earn the money that you need.
Your marriage issues it’s your privet issues no need let other to interfere in your relationship
- Avoid allowing other people to come between you as a couple. In-laws and friends can be a source of many marriage issues and the space they are allowed to have in your marriage should be very minimal. While you cannot shut them out completely, you should know what to let in from them as well as how to filter their words and influence on either of you. They are good, but remember this is not their marriage, it’s yours.
There are dozens of other marriage issues which, if not handled carefully, could lead to divorce or separation, a route that you would not want to travel. That, which you cannot solve alone, invites other mature couples or professionals to help you.
Categories: Can A Marriage Be Saved?, Causes Of Divorce, Causes Of Marital Failure, Challenges Of Interracial Marriages, Common Marital Problems, Common Mistakes Interfaith Couples Make, Keeping Your Marriage, Making Marriage Work, Ways Of Making Marriage Work Tags: Common Marital Problems, Divorce, effects of a happy relationship, Fix Marriage, marriage conflict, marriage difficulties, marriage issues, Relationship Problems
Workable suggestions for marriage reconciliation after separation
Family is one of the most important institutions which normally find challenges. There are times when couples are forced to separate due to problems between themselves and this is done for a number of reasons. It is important to work out marriage reconciliation after separation for the sake of peace and the well-being of the whole family. Separation as previously mentioned is done for a number of reasons which include:
- Allowing both parties sometime to cool down and be able to look at the situation soberly.
- To allow the couple to weigh their position in the relationship on an individual level.
- To help the couple decide whether they are interested in settling things amicably.
What to do if one party is not willing to go on with marriage reconciliation after separation
In case the parties are willing to reconcile as many normally do, the couple is able to have a fresh start in the marriage and overcome the various challenges that could have led them to their separation. It is always the hope of all concerned parties that the couple will be able to work out reconciliation after separation and enjoy a happy marriage thereafter. Separation and reconciliation is a process that is double pronged and should be approached with openness. There are various steps that the couple must be willing to take in order for the marriage reconciliation after separation to work well.
Valuable suggestions on the steps to follow to make reconciliation after separation successful
- If marriage reconciliation after separation is to work, the couple must make the decision together. This should not be a decision made by one party on behalf of the other spouse and must not be forced. Even if the decision to separate was made by one party who decided to walk away, the reconciliation will have to involve a joint decision for it to succeed.
- Each spouse must be able to acknowledge the role they played for the problem to arise if marriage reconciliation after separation is to succeed. This must be done without accusations and counter-accusations if the healing process is to begin. The spouses must be willing to approach the process with an open heart and be sincere for the sake of their marriage. Sometimes this will be tough and painful and will require that each partner swallow their pride, but the truth is that it must be done for the marriage reconciliation after separation to work.
- After the acknowledgement of their role, each partner must be willing to ask for forgiveness from the other party. This should be followed by each of them pointing out how they intend to approach things differently in order to relate well.
- Mostly, the problems that caused the separation do not disappear overnight. There is a need to come up with a reconciliation plan, stating a road map to be followed in order for the couple to reconcile. Some of the habits or things that caused the separation might be tough to deal with, but there must be sacrifice and a clear plan on how to do things differently if the marriage reconciliation after separation is to bear fruit. These steps should be reviewed to know whether the couple is succeeding.
- The couple should also consider recommitting themselves to each other and this can be done by repeating the wedding vows as a sign of dedication to the marriage. This should come from the heart.
The marriage reconciliation after separation is not a walk in the park and each spouse must be willing to pay the necessary price.
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Categories: Can A Marriage Be Saved?, Causes Of Divorce, Causes Of Marital Failure, Challenges Of Interracial Marriages, Commitment, Common Marital Problems, Common Mistakes Interfaith Couples Make, Dos and Don'ts for Interracial Married Couples Tags: Can A Marriage Be Saved?, Common Marital Problems, Divorce, Marriage reconciliation after separation, Relationship Problems