If asked to list down the differences between men and women, the average person would probably take hours to come up with such a list. Physically, men and women are obviously different. But can it possibly be a cause of contention? That men have bigger biceps or that they develop beer bellies and women, love handles? Not much. It’s the mental and emotional aspects that have caused a stir in the intellectual world. Hence, the concepts of male chauvinism, feminism, and double standards exist. Gender differences and inequality – these are what meaningful poems like Adrienne Rich’s “Diving Into The Wreck” are all about.
Too many articles have already touched this topic – men are logical, and women are emotional. Actually, this has scientific basis. According to psychology professor Richard Haier, men have more gray matter in their brains, while women have more white matter. It doesn’t have a significant effect on their intelligence but on how they think.
Men live for activities. Women feed on feelings. Men don’t like distractions or too much talking when they work. Women tend to work better when in a group. Men are generally less talkative. Women, on the other hand, are more inclined to share their feelings. When a man has a problem, he retreats to think it over. A woman calls her friend to talk about the problem. Men tend to be less conscious about looking good. This is basically the reason why they don’t wear makeup or ask questions like “How do I look?” or “What colour suits me best?” Women, on the other hand, like to try diet and exercise fads. But of course, these can be taken as generalisations.
In a relationship, a husband puts importance on giving gifts to his wife. A wife isn’t touched by the gifts themselves but by the fact that her husband cares for her to give her such gifts. Women are more focused on the things happening behind the scene – the reason and the thought behind a gift, a dinner date, or a surprise. What men like is the idea that they can give things to their wives. Men like to provide. Women like to nurture thoughts.
Oftentimes, gender differences and stereotypes are dictated or emphasised by society. We refer to a male president as president. We call a female president a lady president. We’re amused at the idea of husbands staying at home to care for the kids. This same kind of thinking makes some women shine like Danica Patrick and Joan of Arc because we tend to think driving fast cars and becoming war heroes refer only to men. We have so categorised activities and preferences.
Gender differences do exist, but they shouldn’t be a cause of contention. We shouldn’t debate anymore on which is the weaker or stronger sex because the debate will just go on and on. Men don’t have the monopoly of the boardroom and the women, the kitchen. There are male CEOs, and there are female CEOs. There are housewives and house husbands. There are strong men as well as strong women. There are weaklings for men as there are weaklings for women.
Differences should spice up relationships, not divide. And this idea still wins nowadays. This is interesting. Perhaps, it’s safe to say that the things that make men and women different are what create the spark that draws them to have a relationship. A man and a woman are supposed to be different, but it’s amazing how they still end up together.
Men are easily turned on sexually. This may sound funny for some, but it actually has scientific basis. Women, on the other hand, may need a little more time to get in the mood.
Men are known to be easily aroused without the need for foreplay or conditioning of the mind. Their sexual desire is based on visuals. What they see turns them on. They also view sex as a primary need that should be prioritized before anything else in a relationship. On the women’s side, sex is only secondary, behind other things that make a relationship work. This is due to their tendency to put the emotional aspect of the relationship over the physical. They have to be emotionally involved first to engage in sexual activity.
These different views of sex between men and women need not become a source of conflict in a marriage. Couples should learn to accept that in a relationship, differences are sometimes inevitable. For instance, the husband wants to get intimate, but the wife refuses. The key is to have respect for each other’s views and preferences. Couples should bear in mind that a person doesn’t stop being an “individual” even when a “better half” exists. By understanding his/her spouse’s rights, a person shows respects for his/her individuality which leads to less tension in a marriage.
Warning: You Must Take These Steps If You Want To Stop Your Divorce
Blissful moments may have passed. The honeymoon phase may be over. Now you’re saddled with a boring or troubled marriage. You’re a candidate for divorce, especially if you don’t do anything about your situation. Leaving things just as they are will likely have you going separate ways soon. Looking back on what used to be a happy and satisfied relationship will get you thinking on what went wrong along the way. If you’re determined to stop your divorce, examine the possibilities on both sides of the marriage.
Some ideas that can help stop your divorce
Blaming each other for all the mistakes and failures is easy, but it creates grievances. Hurt and resentment that are left unsaid often result to a tension-filled marriage. Discussing and expressing your thoughts and feelings calmly will help you overcome this situation. If it’s impossible to agree on things, then at least, try to understand each other. Accept things the way they are. Respecting each other is essential in a marriage.
Divide responsibilities between yourself and your spouse. Make your bond stronger by supporting each other through thick and thin. Know when to air your opinions. Sometimes when you don’t have anything good to say, it’s better to just keep things to yourself.
When things don’t work out, and your old plans are not saving your marriage anymore, be open for change. Change is the only thing that’s constant, and trying new things might spice up your marriage and revive it. A strong relationship requires a lot of work and effort. Try changing your appearance by having a new haircut, or if you don’t know how to cook, try to learn and surprise your spouse with his or her favourite dish. Keep things new, so you’ll avoid getting stagnant in your relationship. Making adjustments may be hard to do, but you have to choose what’s more important; pleasing yourself but losing your marriage or backing down and keeping it.
Like other relationship advice, there will always be an exception. If your spouse uses violence and compromises your safety, it’s wise to step away. However, if can stop your divorce and it can be avoided and solutions and other options are available, then take them.
If you are serious about stopping your divorce do what ever it takes.
Always think first of what made you hold on for so long. Think of how good it felt during your first time together. You might want to get that feeling back by doing things as before or by venturing into new romantic getaways, like spending a day or two at an exotic beach. It’s likely that your love for each other will always be there, it’s just waiting for the both of you to rekindle it.
Helpful tips for someone wondering “can my marriage be saved?”
Today more than any other time in the history of marriage, the rate of divorce has multiplied to some unbelievable levels. There is an increased concern from all quarters as people ask the question “can my marriage be saved?” almost every day. The institution of marriage seems to be in trouble today more than any other time in history. It is important to understand that any marriage can be saved if only the two people involved are willing to have it healed.
Have you been asking how “can my marriage be saved?” Well, there are numerous things that you should understand if this is the situation you are in. Below are some of the things that you should consider:
Can my marriage be saved by admitting that I need help?
To begin with, you must never shy away from admitting that your marriage is in deep trouble and that you need help. A spouse who has this question in their mind would want things to appear normal from outside but the truth of the matter is that this does not help in any way. The first step towards the healing of your marriage does not lie in just wondering “can my marriage be saved?” but in what you do after this question has risen in your mind.
Your marriage can be saved by working together with your spouse.
Never assume that things will work themselves out miraculously. Many people normally bury their heads in the sand ignoring or totally pretending that the problem will disappear on its own. You must come up with a plan that includes identifying the problem and how to go about it. It must be noted, however, that this is not an easy thing to do. It is, however, also worth noting that divorce is not the easiest thing to do. If you can’t solve the issue on your own, then discuss seeking a counsellor’s help in order to save you marriage.
Marriage can be saved by understanding that your marriage is heading towards divorce
Those asking “can my marriage be saved” normally do so after having suffered for too long and are almost on the brink of divorce. It is important to agree that the problem is not one-sided; it involves the two people in the marriage and therefore, the solution can only come from the two. Pointing fingers and the blame game is not the way to go and each spouse should look deep within themselves to see their contribution to the problem. Be flexible and seek to make things better by compromising during the solution seeking moments.
Many who have been wondering how “can my marriage be saved?” normally lack the patience to deal with issues amicably. Many normally see divorce as the better way, but the truth of the matter is that this is more painful than humbling through the process of healing. Repairing a marriage in trouble takes more than a few hours and patience is of great importance. You must give full attention to the process.
Can my marriage be saved by asking for professional help?
Professional help from a pastor or counsellor is also important if you are wondering “how can my marriage be saved?” and especially if the problems are more than you can handle between the both of you. The involvement of a third party should come as one of the last things you do.
It is important to note that every marital problem can be solved instead of ending in divorce. There is never a perfect spouse and leaving your spouse for another person will only be like jumping from a pan into a flame of fire. With patience, you will find that the power to answer the question on “how can my marriage be saved” lies within you and your spouse.
Categories: Can A Marriage Be Saved?, Causes Of Divorce, Causes Of Marital Failure, Commitment, Common Marital Problems, Developing Healthy Relationships, Healthy Marriage Tips, Let's Go Together, Loving Your Marriage, Making Marriage Work, Resolving Conflicts In A Marriage, Restoring Trust In A Marriage, Save My Marriage Tips Tags: Healing a Broken Marriage, helpful tips, how to stop your divorce and save your marriage, Keeping Your Marriage, Marriage, Marriage Tips For Newlyweds, Ways to Better Your Marriage
Couples who have been together for quite some time may literally stop talking to each other, which will eventually become a big problem for their marriage. Working long hours may be one of the reasons why couples don’t have enough time for each other. It may appear okay initially, but eventually, they will feel that they no longer know their spouse anymore. In order to get the marriage back on track, making time for each other and spending intimate moments can save the marriage.
A large number of married people say they’re talking to their spouse but, in many instances, they just end up arguing. Now, this isn’t proper communication. Being married doesn’t mean that you already know everything about each other. It’s a constant get-to-know-me-more type of relationship. Don’t assume that your spouse can read your mind because he or she can’t. You have to express your thoughts and feelings. For your spouse to know what you want, air what’s on your mind. And when you do talk, be amicable, peaceful, and gentle. Talking things out in a calm manner helps you connect, understand, and solve issues better.
Like every relationship, keeping things going is a must. Stagnation creates boredom in a relationship. Do new activities together. Take a vacation, or go out on dates. Enjoy life as a couple because you deserve to be happy.
Learn to accept the truth that no marriage is perfect. Disagreements play a major role in relationships. Without some, your marriage would be very boring. But you have to know that disagreements are different from arguments that will leave you hating each other. Disagreements are healthy when, in the end you respect each other’s ideas and beliefs, while agreeing about the same goal.
Amidst all the challenges, remembering why you married your spouse in the first place will remind you of the love you’re supposed to have for each other. Don’t lose that feeling. Instead, feed that with constant and effective communication and renewed passion. Together, laugh your stress out, and treat yourselves after a hard days’ work.
Happiness is a choice. Being happy in your marriage requires a lot of effort. So, work hard on it because if you truly love your spouse, you would do everything to keep things nice and well.
Importance of Marriage Counselling
Does it Work Well?
If you find that your marriage is experiencing a lot of problems, you should seek professional assistance. You can either seek the services of a counsellor or consult a psychiatrist.
You will get some answers to the questions regarding how one can make the most of the services offered by marriage counselling centres.
Take a look at the questions mentioned below:
Get married at an early age?
Are you a college graduate?
Do you come from a low-income group?
Are you in an inter-faith marriage?
Are your parents divorced?
Do you have a habit of criticising?
Is there a lot of defensiveness in your marriage?
Do you have a habit of withdrawing from your spouse?
Are you feeling content with your partner?
If you answered “Yes” to any or all of the above questions, you are indeed at high risk of divorce.
If you act in a positive manner, you will get the same from your spouse. Efficiency to communicate well with your spouse, ability to eliminate skirmish in your marriage and your interest to help your spouse in all their dealings, will add to the chance of avoiding the ultimate decision of divorce.
How Effective is Marriage Counselling?
One thing is very clear. The professional marriage counselling provides will have a positive impact and reduce the risk of divorce. So it is better to get the advice from a reliable source.
Let’s set aside the facts obtained from some study on marriage counselling that marriage counselling is not as effective as what you think.
Young couples, couple subjected to therapy, those who are still in love, and those who are not interested in sex are people who can make of marriage counselling.
But those who have waited too long before seeking help have the least chance of making the most of their marriage counselling.
See the Happy Couples. Seek their Help from Marriage Counselling
According to Gottman some people are very efficient in handling their disagreement and resentment due to their affection and friendship. They can easily manage the problems arising out of either silly or severe stresses.
Gottman’s remark under this context is important. He says that rather than trying to change the marriage, if communication skills are taught to them, there may be a steep diminishing number in marriage cases.
So go to seek professional marriage counselling or a marriage course before the problem gets any bigger.
Three strong and tested save marriage tips
Wherever you turn today, love is the strongest bond that keeps the world together. It is therefore not surprising to note that the marriage is one of the most important things in society today. With this having been said, one should note that this institution is under great attack and marriages are falling apart at a very high rate. There are numerous save marriage tips which one will find helpful and useful no matter which side of the world they live in. it is disheartening to see marriages that have lasted for more than 30 years coming to an end today even after the couple have invested so much in each other and together. The question is, “what are the most workable save marriage tips that will help avoid the divorce route and give you a strong and enjoyable relationship again?”
Before a relationship or a marriage can come to a point of breaking up, the fact of the matter is that there are sufficient warning signs that help in knowing where you are headed. The problem is, however, that many tend to ignore these signs at their own peril. A marriage can be saved easily by making sure that some save marriage tips are implemented; helping to avoid some of the problems from the beginning.
Save your marriage tips to restore your relationship
To begin with, communication is one of the most powerful save marriage tips that many people tend to ignore. Many couples talk at each other instead of talking to each other every time there is a need to look for a solution for their troubles. Couples should see to it that their communication skills are well-oiled and that they are able to listen to one another in order to find a middle ground. A relationship where the two can talk freely to each other about negative things without resulting in accusations and counter-accusations will definitely be healthy.
Recognise that your relationship having a challenge this major save marriage tip for you
Don’t pretend that everything is alright while there are things buried under the carpet. One of the other most effective save marriage tips is confronting what needs to be confronted when it needs to be confronted. Sometimes this will be painful, but the truth of the matter is that this is what you need to maintain a healthy relationship. Many spouses do not like confrontation because they think there shouldn’t be any in a marriage but the truth of the matter is that a relationship is healthy if you can handle emotive issues maturely. Never sleep on an issue that you know is affecting your marriage. Confront issues that need confronting, for this is the only way to deal with them. You should avoid accusations and negativity as you seek to implement these save marriage tips.
Be open and to our marriage tips as they recur your marriage and help your relationship
If you are looking for genuinely working save marriage tips, you must be willing to do all that needs to be done. This will be determined by the value you place upon the marriage. It will be important to break away from the normal now and then; to take a cup of tea or a meal outside the home setting as a way of spicing up your marriage relationship.
There are many small ways that could work very well as save marriage tips for you and your spouse, but the truth of the matter is that every marriage is different from each other. Seek to know what works well with your relationship and your spouse as well.
Categories: Can A Marriage Be Saved?, Developing Healthy Relationships, Effects Of A Happy Relationship, Getting Married, Keeping Your Marriage, Save My Marriage Tips Tags: communication, Conflict in Your Marriage, Fixing Your Marriage, listen to your partner needs, love, Marriage Help, post-wedding life, save marriage tips, understanding each other