Importance of Marriage Counselling
Does it Work Well?
If you find that your marriage is experiencing a lot of problems, you should seek professional assistance. You can either seek the services of a counsellor or consult a psychiatrist.
You will get some answers to the questions regarding how one can make the most of the services offered by marriage counselling centres.
Take a look at the questions mentioned below:
Get married at an early age?
Are you a college graduate?
Do you come from a low-income group?
Are you in an inter-faith marriage?
Are your parents divorced?
Do you have a habit of criticising?
Is there a lot of defensiveness in your marriage?
Do you have a habit of withdrawing from your spouse?
Are you feeling content with your partner?
If you answered “Yes” to any or all of the above questions, you are indeed at high risk of divorce.
If you act in a positive manner, you will get the same from your spouse. Efficiency to communicate well with your spouse, ability to eliminate skirmish in your marriage and your interest to help your spouse in all their dealings, will add to the chance of avoiding the ultimate decision of divorce.
How Effective is Marriage Counselling?
One thing is very clear. The professional marriage counselling provides will have a positive impact and reduce the risk of divorce. So it is better to get the advice from a reliable source.
Let’s set aside the facts obtained from some study on marriage counselling that marriage counselling is not as effective as what you think.
Young couples, couple subjected to therapy, those who are still in love, and those who are not interested in sex are people who can make of marriage counselling.
But those who have waited too long before seeking help have the least chance of making the most of their marriage counselling.
See the Happy Couples. Seek their Help from Marriage Counselling
According to Gottman some people are very efficient in handling their disagreement and resentment due to their affection and friendship. They can easily manage the problems arising out of either silly or severe stresses.
Gottman’s remark under this context is important. He says that rather than trying to change the marriage, if communication skills are taught to them, there may be a steep diminishing number in marriage cases.
So go to seek professional marriage counselling or a marriage course before the problem gets any bigger.
Steps To Take When Stuck In The Rut Of Marriage
Driving on a Highway
Have you ever thought what you’re going to do if you find yourself stuck in a marriage rut ?
Suppose you’re driving down the road, and you think that the drive will be pretty smooth today. Suddenly, you meet trouble. Your car gets stuck in a rut. It seems nobody is coming to help you out. You’re stranded on a lonely highway.
The Car That Is Your Marriage
You and your spouse are travellers inside the car that is your marriage. The two of you are responsible for the smooth functioning of your relationship. To avoid the rut, both of you must be willing to take the route that you know will take you to a successful marriage. If you’re stuck in the rut at the moment, don’t waste time and discuss what you’ re going to do. Take immediate steps. Take the quick route out.
If you are stuck in a marriage rut try doing activities that you have not done before.
Detours and Stopovers
Try to take a detour. Do things you don’t normally do. If you can use your weekend with no kids, no TV, no music, and no work, then you can make time just for two of you. If you’re going away, just make sure your kids are safe and in good hands. If your work is crowding your mind too much or robbing you of life and romance, stop for a vacation. Surprise your spouse once in a while. Take him or her to places you’ve never been to. Don’t allow your marriage to be a predictable trip. Here are several tips on how to do that.
Letters and Letters
Write letters to your spouse. We aren’t simply talking about love letters here. You can also write down your concerns, fears, and whatever issues you think will be better communicated on paper than by mouth. Sometimes, some things are better written than said, better read than heard. Or why not try our Love Coupons and give them to your partner to use.
Being married to your spouse doesn’t make him or her an ex-date. Continue dating on a weekly basis or a few times a month. If money is an issue, remember that you don’t have to go to an expensive place to have a great date. Each other’s presence is a treat enough.
Ten Minutes Together Daily
This isn’t limiting the time you should spend with your spouse because you can spend as much time together as you want. But if your schedule is too hectic, spend at least ten minutes alone with your spouse everyday. Make the minutes count. Don’t waste them on arguments. You can use the time to take a walk together or to watch the sunset or to share stories about your day.
A Well-Oiled Car
If you’re doing the same things over and over everyday, the routine will certainly take its toll on your relationship. Make some changes. Take a different route sometimes. Take the table to the porch, and eat dinner while watching the stars . Dance. Develop a new hobby together. Keep your car well-oiled, so it will always run smoothly. Changing things up sometimes means sharing new experiences with your spouse. And that saves the relationship from going stale.
You do not have to be stuck in a marriage rut
Planning For A Smooth Future
There will always be challenges down the road that you feel you’re not prepared for. Nobody said that marriage would always be a downhill ride.What you should work on is how to keep your car in good condition so that it will withstand whatever challenges it will meet along the way. Major issues should never become huge stumbling blocks for your marriage. Check for little nicks before they become problems. Ride on into the future with confidence.
Download some free Love Coupons to help your Relationship / Marriage
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How many ways I love you
Saying “I love you” to your partner at least once a day does wonders to your marriage; healing rifts, easing tensions, bridging gaps, or simply making your relationship more exciting. “Saying” I love you ironically doesn’t only involve words. The cliche, “Action speaks louder than words,” is best interpreted in a marriage. Although verbally expressing your love to your spouse is important, you can very well say “I love you” even without speaking.
To express How many ways I love you. You should do more than talk.
• Write love quotes to your spouse. Leave them under his or her pillow or mug, or in his or her pocket.
• Every now and then, grant his or her wish. Act like a bridge towards his or her dream.
• When he or she is talking, listen!
• Be like an angel from above to him or her.
• Surprise him or her with gifts. Don’t wait for your anniversary to pamper him or her.
• Share your feelings.
• Try to be pleasant always.
• Dance with your spouse.
• Do his or her chores.
• Plan and cook meals together.
• When you talk, hold his or her hand.
There are many more ways to show How many ways I love you to your partner.
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Tips on How to Fix Marriage After Trust is Gone
Trust is one of the most essential elements in marriage. It needs to be nurtured for it to grow and make the relationship stronger. It should be present in every relationship. If trust is absent then the marriage is at its worst.
Imagine yourself in a relationship where there is no trust. You will be anxious all the time. Every time you are not with your partner, doubts will eat you. It can consume you. Your character or behavior can change and the relationship will turn sour. It can also affect your daily routine which is unhealthy. Living a life that is full of doubts is a sorrowful life.
However, trying to fix the marriage after it has been broken is not impossible. It would need a lot of time and effort to go through this trying time. Bringing back trust is not an easy thing to do, you can’t just sit back and relax. You can’t pay someone to fix it for you. It needs both of you and your partner to willingly do it. Both should decide to correct what has been done wrong to the relationship.
To Fix A Marriage After Trust is Gone requires the BOTH of YOU !
The first tip to fix marriage after breaking the trust of your partner is forgiveness. The severity of the hurt can be a factor on how long it will take to heal. But letting go of past hurts and faults is one way to rebuild your relationship with your spouse. Move on, and start a new. And do not bring it back, because if you do, it’s a sign that you have not totally forgiven your partner. This is not healthy in a marriage. So, take the time to heal, then forgive and then let go. In this way you will be able to bridge the gap in the relationship.
Another tip to help you is talking to your spouse about the problem. It may take a lot of talks to get the hang of things and restore the broken bond. Just be patient and listen to your partner. Talk seriously and calmly. Make sure that you meant what you said, so your partner will know that you are sincere and you can earn back the lost trust.
Spend quality time with your spouse. This is also another way of fixing marriage after the trust is broken. Both of you should willingly decide to make time with each other. Togetherness is the key to tighten the bond. If more time is spent with each other then most likely the relationship will get stronger.
And finally, try not to be skeptical. It is a given that once trust is broken, then the affected partner will be anxious every time their spouse is not around. So help yourself to be confident with your spouse. It is unhealthy to be too suspicious on your partner all the time. Try to be reasonable enough, to avoid any arguments that will lead back to distress and disappointments.
Fixing A Marriage After Trust is Gone is possible so why not give it a go ?
Therefore, even if the trust is broken there are still some ways that will help you get through the hard times. Mending your marriage is never too late. It is not impossible too. So do your best to fix your marriage even after the trust is gone as you can always regain it.
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