There are some couples that have apprehensions about the idea of marriage counselling. This is because there is a preconceived notion that marriage counselling is only for people that have terrible issues within their marriage. This may be true, but it doesn’t mean that they are the only ones who can benefit from this.
Here are just some benefits that you gain from counselling:
A marriage counsellor can help improve the communication lines between two people in the relationship. It is important to remember that you are two different individuals and your personalities are different. One may be more vocal about their feelings and the other one just chooses to keep quiet. Communicating can help find a mutual ground where you could openly express yourselves.
When you encounter problems with each other, there are times that neither of you wants to apologise or make up for anything that was done wrong because of pride or a complete misunderstanding. This is where marriage counselling steps in. Through counselling you can develop methods to resolving recurring issues and conflicts.
3. Balanced Funds
Finances are one of the most common problems that couples encounter and that is the reason why marriage counsellors have perfected certain techniques in solving this particular issue for couples. With the help of programs developed by counsellors you can now easily reduce conflict by managing your finances well.
4. Emotional Connection
Sharing your feelings with each other may have stopped after just a few years of marriage. This can be caused by any number of things, such as too much criticism or lack of listening skills. A marriage counsellor would be able to develop your relationship in this aspect by making your marriage a place of comfort and openness.
“No man is an island.” This saying only means one thing and this is the fact that people are meant to create relationships with each other. Oftentimes, when we have a relationship with another person, whether it’s a simple friendship or a marriage, we get so close to each other we forget that we are not the same person.
This is where the problem starts especially in marriage. When a marriage is quiet and doesn’t seem to have any problems you should probably take another look at your marriage. The problem is that one of you might have lost their identity along the way.
On the other hand, when there is too much fighting and disagreement in a marriage, this can also be a problem. Couples find it hard to stay happy in a marriage where there are just way too many conflicts. There is a blurred line to actually identify if your marriage needs counselling. But when you see that your partner is suffering in the relationship to the point of depression, this is a clear sign that you need counselling.
Your problems can also be caused by basically anything that affects your relationship. It could be tension in the family, financial stability, sickness, trouble with career growth and so on. You don’t have to limit the problems to the two of you as individuals. You must also recognise that there are other factors involved.
Once you have identified the road-blocks in your marriage, such as less sexual intimacy or lack of communication, the task is in your hands. It’s important that at least one takes the initiative to seek marriage counselling. If you cannot seem to reason with your spouse, you can still go and visit the counsellor on your own. From there you will be guided by a professional and you can start addressing the problem your marriage is currently facing.
Not everyone thinks they are in need of marriage counselling. The red flags can be hard to identify, especially for couples who are in denial that they even have problems. There are many benefits that you can enjoy when it comes to marriage counselling. You can learn so much about each other and the best part is it will make your relationship stronger.
Here are ten advantages that you’ll encounter with marriage counselling:
1. Increased communication makes it easier to resolve issues.
2. Sharing of emotions with the right expressions, disclosures and resolutions.
3. Negotiating effectively to achieve a single goal.
4. Willingness to exert enough hard work to make the marriage grow.
5. Unity in addressing certain issues, such as parenting, management and so on.
6. Decreasing stressors that only heighten conflicts.
7. Elimination of fighting dirty with each other.
8. Developing the right set of problem solving techniques.
9. Effective discussion of sensitive topics that cause heated arguments.
10. Learning to see the bright side despite on-going issues within the marriage.
Through the help of marriage counselling, couples are now able to improve their relationship in all aspects and not just through superficial agreements. It heals the marriage from within, not just on the surface. Because you are dealing with professionals, you can trust that they have enough experience in this field to help you resolve the ones you have.
Once you sign up for marriage counselling, the two of you must be committed. Give it an appropriate amount of time so that you can address the major conflicts that you might have, effectively.
Not all marriages are perfect and there are times that you leave issues unresolved and as they pile up, it causes a severe dent in the relationship. When you hit this stage of your marriage, this is no time for you to lose hope. There is still a chance for you to turn your marriage around and one way you can do this is by seeing a marriage counsellor.
Compared to seeking out help from your friends and relatives, a marriage counsellor can give you unbiased advice. People around you typically have a preconceived judgement with the relationship and it will be hard to break away from that.
Looking for the best marriage counsellor? You can apply certain techniques that you can use in searching for the perfect one for you.
When looking for a marriage counsellor make sure that you and your spouse have talked about the objectives that you want to achieve in consulting with a counsellor. Remember, not all advisers are the same, as they have certain fields of expertise. If you pick out a marriage counsellor in the wrong field or who is not in sync with the goals you have, you won’t resolve anything. You don’t want to waste time and energy on something that’s not going to work for you.
First, make a short list of marriage counsellors by calling the ones that you’ve found interesting. There are many places you can scout for names of counsellors, such as the internet, the local clinic/hospital or a referral from your friends.
It is important that a counsellor makes you feel comfortable and relaxed. Call them and inquire about their services they provide and from there you’ll get a pretty good idea if you are comfortable with them. You can even ask for trial sessions to know for sure that they are a perfect fit for you.
There is no easy way to finding the best marriage counsellor for you, but when you finally do, you’ll realise that the effort you made was worth it.
It doesn’t really matter where you are at this point in your marriage, whether you feel like you’re on the right track or slowly derailing, marriage counselling is a perfect way to guide your marriage. Through marriage counselling, you gain another perspective that can help address small or big issues in your relationship. As a couple, you’ll find ways in how you can improve certain aspects in your life.
The job of your counsellor is to give an objective opinion about the problems and solutions that you have. Don’t expect anything more from them, like taking your side on the matter.
1. Honesty is also something that is valued by counsellors. If you fail to be honest with them, then you also ruin your chances of fixing your relationship.
2. You also have to be a hundred per cent committed to this process. Your marriage is something that you will have to work on every day and you won’t be able to do this without a sense of commitment to the process.
3. When you finally learn to create a process and develop communication with each other you can start practicing this at home. Learning to solve problems on your own is the best way for you to take something away with you in the process of marriage counselling.
Before you get an appointment with a marriage counsellor, keep in mind that they have specialisations and you will have to choose the right one for you first. Make sure that you do some research before anything else. You can ask your friends or family for any tips that they can give you.
Building a marriage is very hard to do, especially when you start to realise that you and your partner are not the only ones involved in the relationship. There are other factors that could greatly affect a marriage, such as family, financial and careers issues.
There are many trials when it comes to making the marriage work. It might seem easy for some couples but more often than not, problems arise and they test the commitment that a husband and wife have for each other.
Seeking the help of marriage counsellor is the last option when it comes to resolving things in a marriage. When you finally feel that there is no hope left in the marriage and that is the only time that you realise that a third-party intervention needs to take place. But that doesn’t have to be the case.
Marriage counsellors are capable of creating an environment that can enhance and develop your relationship early on. This makes it easier for you as a couple, because while you are still in the early stages of the problem, you can easily point out where it all began.
There are signs that can be easily identified as indications that you need to seek the help of a marriage counsellor.
1. When you can’t seem to stop fighting about the smallest things.
2. When you start to hurt each other physically.
3. When you steer clear of each other.
4. When you no longer have fun.
5. When you can’t seem to ask each other how your day went.
6. When your aspirations in life are no longer in sync.
7. When you can no longer seem to trust one another.
8. When you don’t get enough intimacy from each other.
9. When you cheat on each other.
10. When you like staying away from each other.
If you see your marriage in any of these ten factors, then it’s time that you go to a professional to get your marriage back on track. The important thing about a marriage counsellor is that they give you a sense of security, trust and openness. As a professional he/she must encourage the two of you to heal individually through an environment that you both are comfortable with.
Traditionally, marriage counselling was perceived as something that was only appropriate for couples who had big issues or were about to file for divorce. But over the years, more couples have discovered the benefits of marriage counselling, even if their marriage was cruising along just fine. The reason is that no marriage is perfect and it constantly encounters problems.
Through the help of a marriage counsellor, couples are able to address their issues immediately and avoid the harmful effects that they could have caused in their relationship. Counselling can also be used for couples who are just about to get married. They are oriented with the responsibilities involved once they enter marriage.
There are many benefits that marriage counselling has and these are just some of them:
- Development of the couple as individual persons.
- Creating a process that they can resort to when they encounter problems.
- Communication is improved and becomes a lot easier to do.
- Assistance from their counsellors.
- Addresses the REAL problem of their relationship.
- Teaches them to work as a team.
- Searches for a place where they can draw power to make their relationship even stronger.
Marriage counsellors basically provide a holistic point-of-view for couples and it allows them to be more objective when it comes to looking at their issues. This can present a very different outcome when you simply try to resolve problems on your own or by trying to overpower each other.
How To Spend The Holidays With Your In-Laws
You may find it difficult to cope with your holiday celebrations if your in-laws are in one way or another, problem-makers. The effect of the stress caused by your extended family members at this time can be controlled if you have the support of your spouse. But then, it’s the holidays, just let things flow.
Some Ideas To Have Hassle-Free Holidays With Your In-Laws:
- You don’t have to travel far. Celebrate at home.
- The holiday season isn’t the time to find fault with each other. Enjoy the time with your spouse and children. You can invite relatives who live in town.
- If you really want to travel and visit relatives, stay in a hotel. You can spend a lot of time for fun – without thinking about food preparations. Plus, you don’t have to be an additional “holiday stress” for your hosts.
- Together with relatives, plan a holiday fund where members can contribute money to be used for the annual celebrations.
- Open a family savings account to help those members who need any financial help. The holidays are a good time to spread love. Better yet, everyday is a good time to spread love.
Holidays with your In laws does not have to be a headache.
Keeping a marriage has its trials and hardships, mostly pertaining to family, financial, and careers issues. Problems arise and test the commitment of a husband and wife to their relationship.
Seeking the help of a marriage counsellor, more often than not, is the last option when it comes to resolving things in a marriage. When you finally feel that there’s no hope left in the marriage, that’s the only time you realise that you need a third-party intervention. But that doesn’t have to be the case.
Marriage counsellors are capable of creating an environment that can enhance and improve your relationship early on. This makes it easier for you as a couple, because while you’re still in the early stages of a problem, you can easily identify where it all began.
There are indications that you need to seek the help of a marriage counsellor:
- When you argue about the smallest things
- When you start to hurt each other physically
- When you steer clear of each other
- When you no longer have fun
- When you can’t seem to ask each other how your day went
- When your aspirations in life are no longer in sync
- When you can no longer trust each other
- When you don’t get intimate anymore
- When you cheat on each other
- When you like staying away from each other
If you see these signs in your marriage, then it’s time that you go to a professional to get your marriage back on track. What’s good about a marriage counsellor is that he or she can foster a sense of security, trust, and openness. As a professional, one of his or her goals is to encourage the two of you to heal individually in an environment that you both are comfortable with.
People approach problems in different ways and you can see this in the manner that they address the issues inside their marriage. Some people would rather wait it out until their patience runs out and they simply let the marriage take its course. They might seek marriage counselling, but the relationship is already too damaged to do anything. Then there are some who try their best to make things work, but it is too late and just to prove to themselves that they exerted at least a quarter of an effort to resolve the issues in the marriage.
Marriage is a commitment that everyone must treasure and if you want to take care of your relationship, it takes a lot more than seeking marriage counselling when you’re at the end of the road.
Counselling can help you the most when the problems are only starting to build up. Yes you may be able to resolve some issues but you’re just scratching the surface there. If you really want to get to the core of the issues and find your way back to love, it would be best to seek professional help. This is the time when experts can do the most to help the two of you get through tough times in your marriage.
These are just some of the benefits you can get from marriage counselling:
• Resolve Conflicts in a Healthy Manner
• Openness within the Marriage
• You can Avoid Hurting Each Other Emotionally
• Develop a Process in Resolving Issues
• A Better Understanding of Each Other
It takes great skills to mend a relationship and it’s not something that you can informally resolve as couples. You will need to have the right tools and set of skills to make it through your damaged relationship.
In the end, it doesn’t matter if your marriage is coming to an end, because you can still seek professional services to help you get out of that rut. You don’t want to commit another mistake and be filled with regret after the separation. Counsellors are there to guide you in making the best choices for your marriage.