Save Your Marriage and Learn To Forgive
Forgiving someone who has hurt you is one of the hardest things to do in a relationship. Everyone one of us makes mistakes; nobody is perfect. Some may do more bad things than others, but we need to understand that there are no big and small mistakes. The bottom line is, a mistake is a mistake. Each one of us has weaknesses that are hard to overcome. But remember that we can still do better, and be the best that we can be. In saving your marriage, learning how to forgive your spouse is the best option.
Couples need to know that small things do count. Forgetting your spouse’s birthday or your anniversary, breaking promises, and being late all the time for your dinner dates, may result in bigger troubles. Be a man of your word, as they say. If you easily forget dates of important events in your marriage, write them on your calendar, or make reminders. Or if you’re always late, make up for it and try not to do it again. Making up for your mistakes may help your relationship, but don’t overdo it. If you can’t do it or if it’s hard for you to keep your word, be honest with your spouse; he/she will understand.
Infidelity is one of the major causes of broken marriages. It’s not just the third party who causes the hurt; it’s the overwhelming effect on the person being cheated. He or she may question whether he or she has been a good partner or not, or whether he or she is good enough or not. It becomes more difficult when the affair is still ongoing. At this point in time, you and your spouse should work together to fight for each other. If your partner wants you back, forgive him/her. After all, forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting; it is accepting that things have been done, and that moving on is the best way to solve the problem. The hardest part in this is regaining the trust of your spouse. It may take some time, but to save your marriage and make it work, you have to show them that they are loved, and that you are sincere.
When moving on, try not to bring up the problems that have been forgiven. Instead, work on how to make your relationship work, and save your marriage. Explore each other. Do things you have never done before. Take a risk and try new things. Or if you want to reminisce about your good old days, bring back those nights when you were on your honeymoon. The key to moving on is to not go stale and be bored. Enjoy and have fun together. You should keep things going as this makes your marriage interesting, and makes you happy. Laugh a lot and joke around. Being serious all the time doesn’t only put wrinkles on your face; it can be the start of a boring relationship.
Doing these things may not be easy, so don’t expect too much from each other. Don’t focus on a love story that only happens in fairy tales. Instead, write your own love story by being a loving, understanding, and forgiving partner. The more you expect, the more you’ll get hurt.
Life would be better if you learn how to forgive. If you can’t, ask yourself if you would be better off alone. Or would you rather forgive your partner, try a little bit harder to save your marriage and make it work? Remember, forgiveness doesn’t change the past, but it can make the future better.
How To Stop Divorce and save Your Marriage?
How to stop divorce is a question that will be relevant both during normal times and during the time when your marriage is in trouble. If you understand the institution of marriage and follow the rules of a sound marriage, the prospect of divorce will never arise. But sometimes, you find that certain developments have taken place which appear to be leading towards a marriage break up, with divorce appearing inevitable. In such a situation, you are naturally concerned with the question how to stop divorce. First thing you should remember is that however grave the situation may appear to be, you can still do a few things to save your marriage. But convince yourself that you don’t want the divorce however bitter things might have developed between you and your spouse.
Here are a few suggestions to stop Divorce
1) Make yourself a more agreeable person: I am not suggesting for a moment that that you have not been conducting yourself in an agreeable way. You may have been conducting yourself in an exemplary way. But a little self examination is not going to hurt. On the other hand, it may do you a lot of good. Your thought process should run like this: ‘There are certain things about me which my spouse doesn’t seem to like. (Otherwise, why should the question of divorce arise at all?) Can I think of the things which he doesn’t like about me and do something about them?’ When you adopt this approach, you will find to your surprise that you are able to zero in on a couple of things about you that you can change for the better. And once you do this, you will find a dramatic improvement in your spouse’s attitude towards you. Please note that I am not asking you to give up your individuality and surrender to the whims of your spouse. All that is required are a few changes which you will not mind implementing. The chances are you will like the changes yourself!
2) Don’t react sharply to your spouse’s proposal for divorce: You can’t stop divorce by angrily dismissing the idea. Your spouse may be expecting you to react violently to the idea so that it will lead to an altercation and culminate in a situation warranting divorce. React cautiously. Say you will think about it. Once you are able to prevent an immediate flare up, you can eventually drop hints that you can still make up, stop divorce and save your marriage.
3) Do not make the mistake of taking your partner for granted: One thing that is universally disliked is being taken for granted. If you are concerned with how to stop divorce, then you should be careful in dealing with your spouse. Don’t dismiss their views or suggestions lightly. If you disagree with your spouse, do it agreeably. Acknowledge the merit of their views and then say that you have a different view. If you want to bring your spouse around to accepting your stand, do it gently. If there is resistance, leave it for the moment. A calm and judicious handling of the differences will ensure that you both will learn to respect each other’s views.
How to stop divorce will no longer be a haunting question.
Warning: You Must Take These Steps If You Want To Stop Your Divorce
Blissful moments may have passed. The honeymoon phase may be over. Now you’re saddled with a boring or troubled marriage. You’re a candidate for divorce, especially if you don’t do anything about your situation. Leaving things just as they are will likely have you going separate ways soon. Looking back on what used to be a happy and satisfied relationship will get you thinking on what went wrong along the way. If you’re determined to stop your divorce, examine the possibilities on both sides of the marriage.
Some ideas that can help stop your divorce
Blaming each other for all the mistakes and failures is easy, but it creates grievances. Hurt and resentment that are left unsaid often result to a tension-filled marriage. Discussing and expressing your thoughts and feelings calmly will help you overcome this situation. If it’s impossible to agree on things, then at least, try to understand each other. Accept things the way they are. Respecting each other is essential in a marriage.
Divide responsibilities between yourself and your spouse. Make your bond stronger by supporting each other through thick and thin. Know when to air your opinions. Sometimes when you don’t have anything good to say, it’s better to just keep things to yourself.
When things don’t work out, and your old plans are not saving your marriage anymore, be open for change. Change is the only thing that’s constant, and trying new things might spice up your marriage and revive it. A strong relationship requires a lot of work and effort. Try changing your appearance by having a new haircut, or if you don’t know how to cook, try to learn and surprise your spouse with his or her favourite dish. Keep things new, so you’ll avoid getting stagnant in your relationship. Making adjustments may be hard to do, but you have to choose what’s more important; pleasing yourself but losing your marriage or backing down and keeping it.
Like other relationship advice, there will always be an exception. If your spouse uses violence and compromises your safety, it’s wise to step away. However, if can stop your divorce and it can be avoided and solutions and other options are available, then take them.
If you are serious about stopping your divorce do what ever it takes.
Always think first of what made you hold on for so long. Think of how good it felt during your first time together. You might want to get that feeling back by doing things as before or by venturing into new romantic getaways, like spending a day or two at an exotic beach. It’s likely that your love for each other will always be there, it’s just waiting for the both of you to rekindle it.
Different reasons contribute to the dissolution of a marriage. Couples might not know that their marriage is over as oftentimes the problem heats up slowly without them realising it. Long before they realise it, they don’t know each other anymore. It’s like living with a stranger in the same house.
Dealing with issues shortly after a heated argument might make a considerable change rather than delaying discussion. Don’t wait too long because things might become harder to resolve and fixing them might be a bit late.
Frequently, people blame their spouses for the dilemma they are in. Listening to your spouse may work wonders for your relationship. Share your thoughts and interests with him or her. Take a moment to just talk in order to understand him or her more, and you will see that you can come up with better solutions by doing so. If you have different views, respect each other, and agree to support each other no matter what.
However, agreeing with your spouse all the time may not be healthy, especially when you’re thinking the other way round. Always agreeing on things will lead you to keep your thoughts to yourself to avoid hurting your spouses’ feelings.
Couples need to remember that they are two different people with different interests and thoughts. Maintaining individuality in a marriage is important to keep things going. Loving the same things is good; being different but complementing each other is exciting.
Strengthen your bond by having romantic getaways. Have dinner for two at a cosy restaurant or go on a picnic. Rekindle the spark that has been lost. Spending more t
ime together gives you more chances to talk about each other’s desires and goals.
Intimacy problems are often excluded when couples sort out issues. Don’t hesitate to express your desires and wants, and share them with each other. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Look your best for your spouse. Being passionate with each other also contributes to a happier marriage.
The determination to talk things out aids couples in overcoming sticky situations. Meaning you have to talk and agree on things and decisions. It’s not easy, but
would you rather be alone than work on making things right? It’s up to the both of you to support each other in achieving this goal.
These are just some methods you can use to save your marriage. Divorce is final, and resorting to it when your marriage is still worth saving may give you regrets in the end. Prevent the dissolution of your marriage by being more understanding and more determined to grow as a couple.
Marital Stress! How to Overcome the Conflict
You will be able to deal with all the conflicts that you may experience in your marriage.
Below is a list of common sources of marital stress and conflict.
Couple would argue over their debt, bills or any other financial matters. More important is that how efficient they are to manage those problems without causing any side effects to the family. Your behaviour towards your spouse concerning finance will reflect your decisions.
A child may be the main reason for your problem. The child may cause stress in a marriage. You may differ in several matters in respect of your child’s educational policy, caring issues, discipline, etc.
Other sources of stress include infidelity, frequency, quality and quantity of sex. They are all reasons for causing disharmony in a marriage.
4. Time apart
It may also be a reason for a conflict in a marriage. The lack of time to spend with each other will lead to a number of sex problems.
5. Household Responsibilities
This issue is the most important one you can see in your neighbourhood. The couple argues for equitable distribution of their household work. At the same time, they start telling each other, what one did and what one didn’t. The conflict is liable to be thick when they come to the harder side of it.
You may come across scores of friends in your life. Some of them are only out to spoil your time and behaviour. But you can separate the good from the bad, and give the good your plus points. Don’t allow anyone to spoil your life in marriage. Your indifference to them will allow you to acquire bad quality friends.
7. Irritating habits
It is common that some people getting married will have undesirable behaviour. Any bad points you will get from your spouse will have a long-acting effect on your marriage. If you can tell your spouse what your bad habits are and how you are trying to fix them, it will help you to solve the issues to a greater extent when a problem arises out of it.
You are not free from your children, siblings, in-laws, step-children etc. Some will have only a small number of members and some have a long way to go with their members.
All of them will have a different mixing effect on your marriage. All the negative issues arising out of several unforeseen matters could be solved judiciously if you have a mind to solve them. Don’t allow them in any way to harm your marriage.
You will have a number of expectations in marriage. Sometime most of them become unmet expectations. All your dreams may not be realised. When your dreams don’t come true, you start thinking of negatively, leading sometimes to a collapse of your marriage.
Your personality dictates who you are. If you are not eager to attend to all the needs of your spouse, or if you are always negative in response to your spouse’s needs, then you need abrupt changes, or else you may meet with something unusual in the near future.
Make Marital Stress a non-issue
If not taken seriously, all the views expressed above are liable to pose a severe marriage conflict in your life. You are the person to decide how to make a change in your behaviour. All problems causing stress are to be handled with utmost importance giving them a positive approach to solve sympathetically. You should know how to overcome them. Go ahead. Be aware of the problems.
Importance of Marriage Counselling
Does it Work Well?
If you find that your marriage is experiencing a lot of problems, you should seek professional assistance. You can either seek the services of a counsellor or consult a psychiatrist.
You will get some answers to the questions regarding how one can make the most of the services offered by marriage counselling centres.
Take a look at the questions mentioned below:
Get married at an early age?
Are you a college graduate?
Do you come from a low-income group?
Are you in an inter-faith marriage?
Are your parents divorced?
Do you have a habit of criticising?
Is there a lot of defensiveness in your marriage?
Do you have a habit of withdrawing from your spouse?
Are you feeling content with your partner?
If you answered “Yes” to any or all of the above questions, you are indeed at high risk of divorce.
If you act in a positive manner, you will get the same from your spouse. Efficiency to communicate well with your spouse, ability to eliminate skirmish in your marriage and your interest to help your spouse in all their dealings, will add to the chance of avoiding the ultimate decision of divorce.
How Effective is Marriage Counselling?
One thing is very clear. The professional marriage counselling provides will have a positive impact and reduce the risk of divorce. So it is better to get the advice from a reliable source.
Let’s set aside the facts obtained from some study on marriage counselling that marriage counselling is not as effective as what you think.
Young couples, couple subjected to therapy, those who are still in love, and those who are not interested in sex are people who can make of marriage counselling.
But those who have waited too long before seeking help have the least chance of making the most of their marriage counselling.
See the Happy Couples. Seek their Help from Marriage Counselling
According to Gottman some people are very efficient in handling their disagreement and resentment due to their affection and friendship. They can easily manage the problems arising out of either silly or severe stresses.
Gottman’s remark under this context is important. He says that rather than trying to change the marriage, if communication skills are taught to them, there may be a steep diminishing number in marriage cases.
So go to seek professional marriage counselling or a marriage course before the problem gets any bigger.
Will seeking professional help for advice save your marriage? Counsellors are fair and open-minded people who will listen to basically everything you have to say in relation to your marriage. It’s never a bad thing to go to counselling with your spouse. In many cases, couples who tried it had better and successful marriages as a result; however, counsellors might help you solve your problems, but it always comes down to the both of you if you’re more than willing to save your marriage.
A greater number of failed marriages have either couples who take each other for granted or don’t talk to each other that much; and when they do talk, they just end up having unnecessary arguments.
It’s sad to know that couples who were once so in love with each other failed to maintain what they had going on. It’s never easy to stay in love, but if you truly treasure that person, you would do everything to make him or her stay.
Oftentimes, couples find their other half irritating and what used to make them smile now makes them frown or cringe. In a situation like this, frustration and constant arguments are inevitable. Airing it all out in the presence of an unbiased third party such as a counsellor will help you communicate with your spouse without having to argue.
Expressing each other’s feelings to a counsellor for the first time may be awkward as you and your spouse may have not talked for quite some time. Say what you have to say, particularly on how you’re feeling and the reasons why you don’t want to go on with your marriage.
Don’t rely entirely on counsellors to solve your issues. They’re there to listen to what the both of you have to say and may make a few comments to guide you to an option or solution. But it is always up to the couple to solve their problems. When you’re too consumed with a problem, you can’t think straight; but when you look at it with a different perspective, you might see things are much simpler.
If you’re considering marriage counselling, then you see your marriage as definitely worth saving. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have thought of it.
A few things to be kept in mind before visiting a counsellor are to be mentally prepared to talk, to listen, and to welcome suggestions. Be especially prepared for what your spouse has to say. It will be much better if you receive the issues aired with a peaceful mindset. Learn to lighten up a bit.
The world we live in today is a stressful one and has many demands. Stop worrying about tomorrow, and conquer your fears. Talk to your spouse about how you feel. The support and love from him or her will make you feel secure. But if you keep things all to yourself, he or she will never know them. Seeking professional from a counsellor will bring your issues to light and help you learn to communicate with your spouse the right way.
So, can counselling save your marriage? I dare say that the answer is a big yes, but only if both husband and wife are willing to cooperate, to be open to changes, and to be absolutely honest with each other.
Three strong and tested save marriage tips
Wherever you turn today, love is the strongest bond that keeps the world together. It is therefore not surprising to note that the marriage is one of the most important things in society today. With this having been said, one should note that this institution is under great attack and marriages are falling apart at a very high rate. There are numerous save marriage tips which one will find helpful and useful no matter which side of the world they live in. it is disheartening to see marriages that have lasted for more than 30 years coming to an end today even after the couple have invested so much in each other and together. The question is, “what are the most workable save marriage tips that will help avoid the divorce route and give you a strong and enjoyable relationship again?”
Before a relationship or a marriage can come to a point of breaking up, the fact of the matter is that there are sufficient warning signs that help in knowing where you are headed. The problem is, however, that many tend to ignore these signs at their own peril. A marriage can be saved easily by making sure that some save marriage tips are implemented; helping to avoid some of the problems from the beginning.
Save your marriage tips to restore your relationship
To begin with, communication is one of the most powerful save marriage tips that many people tend to ignore. Many couples talk at each other instead of talking to each other every time there is a need to look for a solution for their troubles. Couples should see to it that their communication skills are well-oiled and that they are able to listen to one another in order to find a middle ground. A relationship where the two can talk freely to each other about negative things without resulting in accusations and counter-accusations will definitely be healthy.
Recognise that your relationship having a challenge this major save marriage tip for you
Don’t pretend that everything is alright while there are things buried under the carpet. One of the other most effective save marriage tips is confronting what needs to be confronted when it needs to be confronted. Sometimes this will be painful, but the truth of the matter is that this is what you need to maintain a healthy relationship. Many spouses do not like confrontation because they think there shouldn’t be any in a marriage but the truth of the matter is that a relationship is healthy if you can handle emotive issues maturely. Never sleep on an issue that you know is affecting your marriage. Confront issues that need confronting, for this is the only way to deal with them. You should avoid accusations and negativity as you seek to implement these save marriage tips.
Be open and to our marriage tips as they recur your marriage and help your relationship
If you are looking for genuinely working save marriage tips, you must be willing to do all that needs to be done. This will be determined by the value you place upon the marriage. It will be important to break away from the normal now and then; to take a cup of tea or a meal outside the home setting as a way of spicing up your marriage relationship.
There are many small ways that could work very well as save marriage tips for you and your spouse, but the truth of the matter is that every marriage is different from each other. Seek to know what works well with your relationship and your spouse as well.
Categories: Can A Marriage Be Saved?, Developing Healthy Relationships, Effects Of A Happy Relationship, Getting Married, Keeping Your Marriage, Save My Marriage Tips Tags: communication, Conflict in Your Marriage, Fixing Your Marriage, listen to your partner needs, love, Marriage Help, post-wedding life, save marriage tips, understanding each other
Identifying major marriage issues and how to deal with them
With the rate of divorce and separations rising with every dawning day, there are many marriage issues that one cannot simply ignore. Ignoring these issues will only work to the quick destruction of the marriage relationship something that will create long lasting heartbreak affects the involved couples. One can, however, be able to mend the relationship progressively by resisting the temptation to ignore these marriage issues when they arise.
To be able to deal with the marriage issues amicably, one will have to understand what they are and the impact they have on the relationship. It is always effective when you are fighting an enemy you know rather than beating your punches against the air. There are many marriage issues as outlined below, but the truth of the matter is that every marriage is unique, just as every couple is unique.
one of the many challenges that couples have in a marriage is with communication
- One of the main marriage issues dogging many couples today is the issue of communication. This can be said to be a result of great dynamics between the husbands and wives as they are created. Men are generally the “quieter” lot, while women have a lot to say concerning life and issues. It is unfortunate that many couples do not know how to handle these dynamics, leading to a whole lot of marriage issues. A couple must learn the best way to communicate with each other if the marriage is to work. Husbands should learn how to listen to their wives more as the wives learn how to handle the personality of the husband.
Learn to forgive in order to help resolving your marriage issues
- Some marriage issues today are a result of lack of forgiveness. While couples should mature more and develop some positive traits progressively, it is bad to expect your spouse to be perfect. Issues that have been solved and discussed should be let go of and not revisited again. Avoid rehearsing your spouse’s mistakes at a later date after they have been solved.
Lack of money another source that creating lots of marriage issues and creates clashed in a relationship
- Money is another source of grave marriage issues today. Many marriages have crumbled and couples parted way simply because they could not agree on matters to do with finances. Some argue on the way money is spent, while others stress, since they feel like what they have is not enough. Couples should plan their finances together and avoid trying to live beyond their means. This will help in easing the pressure on the marriage and this will definitely put a lot of marriage issues to bed. Talk about your finances freely and not only on how to spend, but also how you earn the money that you need.
Your marriage issues it’s your privet issues no need let other to interfere in your relationship
- Avoid allowing other people to come between you as a couple. In-laws and friends can be a source of many marriage issues and the space they are allowed to have in your marriage should be very minimal. While you cannot shut them out completely, you should know what to let in from them as well as how to filter their words and influence on either of you. They are good, but remember this is not their marriage, it’s yours.
There are dozens of other marriage issues which, if not handled carefully, could lead to divorce or separation, a route that you would not want to travel. That, which you cannot solve alone, invites other mature couples or professionals to help you.
Categories: Can A Marriage Be Saved?, Causes Of Divorce, Causes Of Marital Failure, Challenges Of Interracial Marriages, Common Marital Problems, Common Mistakes Interfaith Couples Make, Keeping Your Marriage, Making Marriage Work, Ways Of Making Marriage Work Tags: Common Marital Problems, Divorce, effects of a happy relationship, Fix Marriage, marriage conflict, marriage difficulties, marriage issues, Relationship Problems
Divorce has become a trend. It can happen to anybody, to couples who have been married for decades or just a month. Many view divorce as their best option. Every marriage has its own ups and downs. Even a healthy marriage is not a flawless one. Even couples that seem perfect for each other are not exempted from trials. It’s important to address little glitches before they become big issues.
Couples should do their best to find lasting solutions to their problems. Some problems may take a lot of effort to find a way out of. Some may just need a little time to resolve. No matter how big or small, a problem is still a problem. It should be dealt with as early as possible, so that it doesn’t develop into irrevocable issues.
Fixing a marriage in trouble involves spouses who are committed to make things work out. Both should be willing to fight for their relationship. If both are willing to cooperate, each makes the load lighter for the other. A team spirit should pervade in every marriage. The spouses act together and depend on each other to meet the challenges.
Couples in troubled marriages can find valuable and effective advice in self-help books. There are practical tips available on how to reconnect and be effective spouses. Seeking a marriage counsellor’s expertise is a wise decision. A marriage expert can definitely help the couple identify the flaws in their relationship and then recommend appropriate solutions.
Divorce rates vary from one country to another. This can be partly due to cultural reasons. The country that has the lowest rate for divorce from first marriages is Japan, with only 27%, while other countries, the United Kingdom for instance, rate as high as 70%. This may be because Japan has a culture which gives emphasis to the preservation of culture.
Every marriage has its share of problems, but this doesn’t make it less special. When you decide to tie the knot, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re headed for marital crash. The fate of your marriage rests on what you make of it. It’s imperative to have the right attitude, the right mindset, and the right feelings. It’s what you’re made of that makes a difference. You can’t expect to have a lasting marriage if you tend to ignore your responsibilities or neglect your spouse. There are married couples who have been through the worst, but still managed to have a better relationship in the end. If you married your spouse because of true love, why do you have to throw away your marriage vows now? There are ways to make things work. Start with the stuff within you.