There are many reasons behind unsuccessful marriages; poor communication, boredom, nagging habits, and poor hygiene are examples. You may be communicating with your spouse in a way that courts arguments and tensions. You may not be taking care of yourself as you should be. Or you may not be spending enough time together.
Don’t lose hope. There are many ways you can save your marriage even though things are a little bit out of hand.
- Express yourself and talk about things. There a lot of things married couples can talk about – with benefits. For one, discussing problems with each other helps you find solutions. And don’t just talk. Listen to your spouse, and give value to his or her views. It may not always sound good, but if you’re more than willing to work things out, you’re on your way to a happier marriage.
- Enjoy your individuality. Every person has his or her own mind. Being married doesn’t necessarily mean that you throw away your individuality. Allow your spouse to enjoy the things he or she loves. Loosen up. Don’t suffocate your spouse with your paranoia, irrational jealousy, and suspicions. Worrying about his or her whereabouts all the time won’t do your marriage good.
- Be there for each other. Supporting your spouse in times of difficulty will strengthen your bond and with that, you will grow as a couple.
- Give and take, but never expect. Smile and the world will smile back at you. Like in love, love and be loved. Never expect too much from your spouse, but this doesn’t mean you should hide your love or control it. Taking care of him or her and doing simple favours will boost your relationship. There’s a good chance you’ll get the same treatment from him or her.
- Take care of yourself. Taking good care of yourself will do wonders for your marriage. If you cultivate a healthy mind and body, you become a happy person. And when you’re happy, the feeling radiates from you to the people around you. Coming home to a happy spouse is also coming home to a happy home.
- Enjoy a day without your kids. Having regular dates with your spouse will help retain that feeling from your first date. Though family time is important, enjoying each other’s company without the kids will keep the romance alive in your relationship.
- Live everyday as if it’s your last day. A lot of things may happen in a minute. You never know what’s in store for you tomorrow, so you might as well show your spouse how much he or she means to you. Never take him or her for granted. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Think of today. The present is a gift of life. Make it count by spending quality time with your spouse.
- Don’t be “static.” Keep new things coming. Being boring is a big no-no in a relationship. When your spouse is bored, he or she might seek another person’s company, so keep things interesting. Surprise your him or her every now and then. Travel. Go to places both of you have never been to before. Explore each other’s interests. Be adventurous.
These are just a few out of the many positive things you can do to save your marriage. Nothing’s impossible unless you stop trying. Keep posted for more tips.
Your preferences regarding how you celebrate the holidays or special occasions may have been influenced by the traditions you were born into. It’s likely that you want to continue those holiday practices of your childhood. If your family always had pudding for the holidays, chances are you still have pudding for the holidays as a married grownup.
If you and your spouse grew up from different backgrounds and were raised on different traditions, you need enough time to adjust to each other. Sit down and plan. Begin new traditions together. Avoid the holiday blues. Creativity is just what you need to make your celebrations more fun – without the usual physical and financial stress. For instance, you can spice up your family holiday dinners with simple but meaningful family stories like this:
The Story of the Eastern Ham
A little girl wonders why her mum is cutting off both ends of the ham before putting it in the pot. Mother makes the preparation the same way her mother did. She also doesn’t know the answer. The mother and the little girl then ask Grandmother. She, too, admits that she always prepared the Easter ham the way her mum did. Because they want a real answer, the three of them ask Great-Grandmother. With a little smile, the old lady explains that she had to cut the ham because the pot she used was too small.
Bring more holiday excitement into your home and marriage by giving old practices a creative twist.
Bake and design sweet goodies together as a family. Make personalized holiday cupcakes as gifts to one another.
Create a wall calendar or collage on New Year’s Eve. Have the children put up a symbol for each month: snowflakes for January, hearts for February, flower buds for March, etc. Then, let them write down their wishes for each month on paper, to be pasted on the wall as you move into the year.
Have a specially-designed plate to be used only by birthday celebrants. Fill the plate with special goodies, so everyone will look forward to celebrating their birthday.
Maybe you have an old goblet in your cupboard. Fill it with juice or little candies. Pass the goblet around during the family holiday dinner. Each member of the family will say his or her blessing or wish for the next person, and then take a sip of the juice, or get a piece of candy.
The holidays and other celebrations are especially made sweeter when spent with loved ones and close relatives. These are also ideal occasions for you to bond with your in-laws. You can use the time to learn about their own family traditions. Have potluck parties with each family bringing a different type of food. It saves one the effort of preparing several dishes for the gathering. Have a different host home each year. It sounds a lot of fun.
There are many more ways to create your new holiday and celebration traditions. You just have to make use of the available resources around you. Be creative. Think out of the box, and you’ll save yourself from a lot of blues and stresses during holidays.
50 Cheap Valentine’s Day Gifts for Your Sweetheart (Without Looking Cheap)
If you’re like most couples, you’re watching your pennies this year and looking for ways to romance your sweetheart on Valentine’s Day without breaking the bank.
Valentine Day Gift Ideas
- Create an indoor picnic with available props, i.e., picnic tablecloth, paper goods. Share finger foods and favourite treats, along with a glass of wine. Spice up“dessert.” Enjoy your picnic on the living room floor or in bed. Play card games,board games, or make up your own.
- Decorate a unique-looking jar or box with craft items. Write numerous love notes on small pieces of paper and fill the jar with them. Present the jar to your sweetheart.
- Make a framed group of photos that put your relationship in chronological order of events, by months or years (depending on how long you’ve been together).
- There are many local and national Valentine’s Day giveaway contests with great prizes. Enter as many as you can and maybe you’ll get lucky.
- Burn a CD with songs that make you think of your sweetheart, and give it to him/her.
- For couples with children, get them involved in an all-family fun Valentine’s Day dinner at home. Mom can prepare a dessert for two and light the candles, while dad puts the kids to bed.
- Leave a note on your mate’s pillow expressing how special you think he/she is. Place a couple of mints on the pillow, too (or a single rose)…all to be discovered at bedtime.
- Create a favourite drink together. Try all kinds of ingredients. Enjoy taste-testing. Be sure to record the ingredients, so you can make “your” drink again on Valentine’s Day year after year.
- Buy two champagne flutes for use on Valentine’s Day only to annually toast your love. Keep them in a visible location as a year-round reminder of how special you are to each other.
- Create an at-home spa day for your mate. Deliver the gift in a basket filled with inexpensive candles, bubble bath, rose petals, facial mask and scrub. Then give your mate time to enjoy it. When he/she is done, heat up towels in the dryer fordrying off.
- Since Valentine’s Day is on a Saturday, celebrate with a day full of low-costactivities you both enjoy doing (depending upon your location and weather). Do something with your significant other that he/she rarely has time to do, but loves.
- Take a 2-hour, one-time salsa or tango dancing lesson together. Or, identify someother interest you share and find a place to give you one-time extended lesson on Valentine’s Day.
- Gals…Make the entire day full of his favourites: the breakfast of his dreams, the dinner of his dreams, TV that is his favourite, his music, etc. Don’t say anythingabout it; surprise him all day long.
- Take the person you love to experience something spectacular in nature: a sunset,a sunrise, the calm of the beach, share an evening walk gazing at the moon.
- Choose specialty foods, such as wine, cheese, fresh bread/dessert from a favourite bakery. Enjoy in front of your warm, toasty fireplace.
- Give each other long-lingering back rubs or head-to-toe body massages. Invest in luxurious lotion or oils.
- Watch an old movie at home together, with popcorn and soft drinks and candy-movie-theatre style.
- Share a scrumptious dessert and latte at a local patisserie or bakery.
- Pick a few household chores your Valentine usually does and surprise them by doing them before they get a chance, i.e., making the bed. It doesn’t sound romantic, but the thought will most certainly count.
- Walk around a favourite part of town, stopping at a nice locale for a glass of wine and appetisers.
- On Valentine’s Day, place three pieces of sexy underwear on your bed and let your mate pick out which one you should wear. It’s your secret!
- Write a “Top 10 Reasons Why I Love You” list.
- If Valentine’s Day is on a Saturday, if you’re a member of a wholesale club (like Costco) have fun eating all the free samples! Then fill any empty holes left in your stomach by going out to lunch. (That way you won’t spend a lot of money at a restaurant!)
- What’s a new activity you’ve both wanted to try that’s low cost? Do it. Or, how can you creatively modify it to make it low cost? Do it.
- Guys… If you want to cook dinner, remember, she doesn’t care what you make. There are many easy recipes on food web sites that look like you spent hours in the kitchen. Be imaginative and set the table special. Play romantic music softly while you dine. Leave the clean-up until morning! Guys or Gals… When you make that special dinner… Just like when you go to a fancy event and a “dinner menu” is put on each plate describing each food item,do something similar. For example, on your menu, write “Spaghetti & Meatballs,made with passion to be with YOU.” Don’t forget to give your “event” or “restaurant” a name at the top of the menu.
- Make a simple dinner at home, and then go out dancing or to listen to live music at a jazz club.
- Play a sport together that you haven’t played in awhile, or that you rarely get a chance to enjoy. Before you start, determine what the “winner” gets (making its omething to do with caring, loving, etc.).
- Leave a “racy” picture on your mate’s cellphone. Text a romantic message at at ime of day when you know things get hectic.
- Present your Valentine IOU coupons: I will make dinner; I will do laundry; I will take care of the kids one day a month for the next year; I will clean the kitchen fora week; I will serve you breakfast in bed.
- Together, go “shopping” at a sex-toy store without spending any money. It’ll give you ideas and get you “in the mood.”
- The tough economy has lured many upscale restaurants to have high-end early-bird specials. Find out what’s available in your area.
- Some volunteer fire departments use holiday fauna to create flower and rose bouquets as a fund-raiser. Prices are reasonable; just get there early.
- If she loves chocolate… Take her on a chocolate tour. Find your home town chocolate purveyor and ask for a behind-the-scenes tour. Next, go to a restaurant that serves her favourite chocolate dessert. Return home to snuggle with a cup of hot chocolate.
- Use a bar of soap to draft a love note on your bathroom mirror. Or, if you shower first, write a love note to your sweetheart in the steam on the mirror.
- Write “I love you because….” Notes and insert them into balloons. Blow up the balloons, and spread the balloons throughout your bedroom for your Valentine to pop and capture each message.
- Many drug stores with photo departments offer a variety of Valentine’s Day specials to make gifts from photographs. Use a good picture of the two of you together.
- Make homemade chocolate-covered strawberries: 1) Melt a packet of chocolate-chips in a double boiler and add a small amount of oil; 2) Remove from heat and quickly dip the strawberries into the chocolate; 3) Place on a wax paper and refrigerate for several hours until chocolate is firm.
- Guys… If you want to order flowers for your gal, supermarket florists are generally half the price of the stand-alone or online stores, but the trick to for seeing realsavings is to order two weeks or more in advance and pay for the flowers upfront………..Another trick to save money, get other guys who want to order flowers to join you and place your orders to the same florist all at once. The florist may give you a “bulk” discount. Again, it is important to plan ahead.
- Plan a scavenger hunt. Write clues and place them in envelopes, and place the envelopes around town. Make the final clue a doozey of a destination.
- Get a small radio and take your partner dancing at a romantic hideaway, such as the woods or riverfront or ocean.
- Use fabric paint to decorate a Valentine’s Day pillowcase for your loved one.Check arts-and-crafts websites for other easy-to-make gifts.
- What did you do on your very first date? Repeat it.
- Create a year-long calendar with photos of just the two of you above (top page)each month. Office supply stores will insert the spiral/binding for you.
- Have a progressive dinner. If you’re live separately, appetisers at his place. Entrée at her place. The main course, dessert, after-dinner drinks… map it out a few days ahead.
- If you’re married, one course at home, one course at her office, his office,etc. Use your imagination to set locations!
- Write new “updated” wedding vows, both serious and humorous, and share them with each other over a glass of wine in a candle-lit room.
- In the morning, tuck a love note in his pocket or her pocketbook or another certain-to-be-found spot. Jot down some meaningful words on a piece of paper- “Can’t wait to wrap my arms around you tonight!”; “What’s for ‘dessert’?”; “You make me happy every day!” – and tuck it in a conspicuous location to be easily discovered during the day.
- Have a 15-minute kissing session and try some new ways and places to kiss. The same old smoocheroo can get boring. Use your imagination…and perhaps a little whipped cream, chocolate syrup, etc.
- If you don’t have a special sweetheart, focus on bringing a smile or laughter to everyone you come in contact with on Valentine’s Day.
- What are your mate’s quirks and habits that irk you? Don’t nag about any of them the entire day. Then try to extend the no-nagging effort to every day of the year.Remember, you’re never going to change the other person.
Valentines Day Gifts Do not need to cost a fortune.
You Can Use Business Skills To Win In Your Relationship
Managing your marriage like you would do a business would help you win in your relationship. It won’t instantly make your marriage work, but it’s a day-to-day journey that you would have to take. The secrets of successful businessmen lie in their dependable customer service that leaves buyers satisfied. Instead of focusing on “working hard” to make your marriage, ease up a little bit, and take this advice to heart.
Win In Your Relationship by know your partners needs
Be a master of your customer’s needs. Fill your spouse’s needs. This is very crucial because when you don’t meet his or her needs, he or she will end up dissatisfied. Know his or her feelings, wishes, and concerns so that you won’t miss out on things. Make an impression every day. In every business, your target would be to earn every day and satisfy your customers. Impress your spouse every day by showering him or her with attention.
Stop making excuses, and don’t be defensive. When the merchandiser commits mistakes, customers want to know the real reason and don’t want to hear excuses. Do the same with your partner. When you’re at fault, acknowledge that you’re wrong, and come up with a solution rather than be defensive.
Make an effort to achieve a win-win situation. Constantly ask your spouse if by any chance, he or she needs help from you to achieve something. Having a balance in every aspect of your life will make your relationship stronger. Apply your expertise in your marriage, so you’ll be able to fulfill your duties without overexerting.
Combine business with pleasure and luxuriate in it. Let your spouse enjoy and indulge in his or her favourite things after working hard. Engaging in new activities with him or her will strengthen your relationship. Try doing things that you’ve never done before as a couple. Your marriage won’t stagnate if you do a lot of activities together.
Win in Your Relationship by striving to make it the best it can be
Businessmen always strive hard to make their company earn as much to make it successful. They always want what’s best for their business. Be like a businessman in handling your home, and don’t settle for mediocrity. Apply all the skills you have on your spouse as he or she is your most valuable customer. Live a happy life, and be the best manager your family and your marriage could ever have.
Being married offers you no guarantee concerning quality of life with each other. You have to do something to make your marriage work. Anything you do or anything about you, your work, your busy schedule, has an influence on your married life. Spending quality time with your spouse and sharing jokes are signs of a good relationship. Here are some ideas to make your marriage more exciting:
1. Always have weekend plans with your spouse. Remind yourself with notes on your phone or computer. Remember, only an emergency should change your plans.
2. Meet up somewhere. Have lunch in a restaurant once a week. Go to a park.
3. Try to be romantic round-the-clock.
4. If you’re in the car, turn off the music or radio. Talk about anything.
5. Do chores together.
6. Shower together.
7. Spend at least twenty minutes a day discussing plans, issues, or views.
8. Spend quiet evenings at home. No television. No music. No distractions.
A good time with your spouse doesn’t have to be a dinner in a posh restaurant. There are so many other things you can do together as a couple. They are not necessarily expensive activities. Let your ideas flow.
Tips On Talking with your Spouse
Conversations with your spouse won’t always be easy. There may be times when you intentionally avoid talking to each other, but remember that if you have nothing to say to each other, you’re compromising your marriage.
Here are ways to deal with difficult conversations and topics:
- Look at your expectations.
Know what you want to achieve with your conversation. Is it to express your feelings? Is it to fix an issue? Is it to confirm something?
- Respect your spouse’s feelings.
No matter how upset or angry you are, remember that you shouldn’t hurt your spouse’s feelings as he or she also shouldn’t hurt your feelings. You may not agree with each other all the time, but it helps if you respect each other’s views.
- Choose your words and tone.
Words are powerful. There are people who still live with emotional scars years after being told hurtful words. Use words that make your message clear and easy-to-understand. Words and how we say words have a deeper impact on others more than we realise. Don’t try to beat around the bush. Be precise. Be direct but not hurtful.
- Choose the right time.
There are issues that need to be discussed sitting down or wide-awake. Don’t try to broach a serious topic when your spouse looks like he or she is having a bad day, is upset or fatigued, or plain sleepy to listen to you, unless the matter is very urgent.
- Don’t try to manipulate your spouse.
Don’t force your view on your spouse. He or she is entitled to his or her opinions.
- Choose the right location and setting.
Talking to your spouse about a serious subject in a noisy club or in the supermarket isn’t very wise. Choose a private and quiet place where you can talk without disctractions.
- Don’t interrupt.
Let your spouse finish what he or she has to say before saying anything.
- Non-verbal clues matter.
It’s not only the words that move a conversation. There are other clues that tell your spouse your stand on the issue or your level of interest in the topic. Eye contact is a must. Shrugging can mean either you’re not interested or would like to talk about other things. Yawning means you’re bored and would like to be alone. Doing other things like watching TV or reading the newspaper while talking is a no-no.
- Be prepared.
This is especially important if you’re talking about a sensitive topic. Back up your concern with proofs and facts.
- Reach an agreement.
You can say your conversation or discussion is successful if you’re able to reach an agreement. But if you and your spouse have different views, making compromises isn’t exactly a bad result.
- Get some help.
If you still can’t fix your issues, seek help from a counsellor or mediator.
Above are just Some Tips on Talking with your Spouse
Here Is someone Else’s Tips on Talking with your spouse.
Interesting Ways of Restoring Trust in a Marriage
The value of restoring trust in a marriage
Understanding the essence of trust: First step in restoring trust in a marriage
Trust gives freedom to an individual in ultimately dealing with others. It lets go of one’s inner self to be ready to share or take part of the others’ life, thus giving them the right to be involved. You become free from concerns, doubts and other negative emotions towards other people, enabling you to fully commit and understand one another without establishing a wall in between or hiding and over-protecting oneself.
Once you and your spouse discuss and provide time to analyse the essence of trust, the feelings for each other will be mutual, restoring trust in a marriage.
Earning trust: Second step in restoring trust in a marriage
One can receive trust from others, yet it is not given instantly and unconditionally; an individual must initially prove and deserve to earn it.
How can you insist your spouse trust you if you have not delivered on your promises? Or when you have
been harsh when your spouse admits a fault? Trust must come and commence on oneself before expecting others to give it to you, once both of you acknowledge each side, trust will grow gradually in a relationship.
Being true to your spouse: Third step in in restoring trust in a marriage
Truth hurts, but is constantly better than telling lies to your spouse’s face; therefore one must be careful and secure what you have, through avoiding factors that may destroy it; like having an affair, or deception. Many relationships and marriages have been saved for the reason that both couples agreed to maintain honesty with each other even when it involved painful truths.
Giving up is not a solution: Final step in restoring trust in a marriage
Once trust had been destroyed, the experience from it is painful and might also be so traumatic that one can’t move on easily nor may commit again. It may even cause one to withdraw from loving.
Although trust is fragile like a crystal, it can always be restored by means of putting in much effort and attention to find a solution. But bear in mind, apologising is only the beginning of establishing and in regaining trust; one must be serious in making changes and in assuring that the damage will never happen again.
Incoming search terms:
- restoring trust in marriage
- restoring trust in a marriage
Categories: Can A Marriage Be Saved?, Causes Of Divorce, Common Marital Problems, Developing Healthy Relationships, Getting Married, Healthy Marriage Tips, Inside The Rut Of Marriage, Keys To A Successful Marriage, Let's Go Together, Making Marriage Work, Marriage Tips For Newlyweds, Overcoming An Affair, Tips For A Successful Marriage, Tips On How To Avoid Stress And Disappointment, Ways Of Making Marriage Work Tags: conflicts in your marriage, learn about your partner, love affair, marriage advice, Save My Marriage, Ways Of Making Marriage Work