Helpful tips for someone wondering “can my marriage be saved?”
Today more than any other time in the history of marriage, the rate of divorce has multiplied to some unbelievable levels. There is an increased concern from all quarters as people ask the question “can my marriage be saved?” almost every day. The institution of marriage seems to be in trouble today more than any other time in history. It is important to understand that any marriage can be saved if only the two people involved are willing to have it healed.
Have you been asking how “can my marriage be saved?” Well, there are numerous things that you should understand if this is the situation you are in. Below are some of the things that you should consider:
Can my marriage be saved by admitting that I need help?
To begin with, you must never shy away from admitting that your marriage is in deep trouble and that you need help. A spouse who has this question in their mind would want things to appear normal from outside but the truth of the matter is that this does not help in any way. The first step towards the healing of your marriage does not lie in just wondering “can my marriage be saved?” but in what you do after this question has risen in your mind.
Your marriage can be saved by working together with your spouse.
Never assume that things will work themselves out miraculously. Many people normally bury their heads in the sand ignoring or totally pretending that the problem will disappear on its own. You must come up with a plan that includes identifying the problem and how to go about it. It must be noted, however, that this is not an easy thing to do. It is, however, also worth noting that divorce is not the easiest thing to do. If you can’t solve the issue on your own, then discuss seeking a counsellor’s help in order to save you marriage.
Marriage can be saved by understanding that your marriage is heading towards divorce
Those asking “can my marriage be saved” normally do so after having suffered for too long and are almost on the brink of divorce. It is important to agree that the problem is not one-sided; it involves the two people in the marriage and therefore, the solution can only come from the two. Pointing fingers and the blame game is not the way to go and each spouse should look deep within themselves to see their contribution to the problem. Be flexible and seek to make things better by compromising during the solution seeking moments.
Many who have been wondering how “can my marriage be saved?” normally lack the patience to deal with issues amicably. Many normally see divorce as the better way, but the truth of the matter is that this is more painful than humbling through the process of healing. Repairing a marriage in trouble takes more than a few hours and patience is of great importance. You must give full attention to the process.
Can my marriage be saved by asking for professional help?
Professional help from a pastor or counsellor is also important if you are wondering “how can my marriage be saved?” and especially if the problems are more than you can handle between the both of you. The involvement of a third party should come as one of the last things you do.
It is important to note that every marital problem can be solved instead of ending in divorce. There is never a perfect spouse and leaving your spouse for another person will only be like jumping from a pan into a flame of fire. With patience, you will find that the power to answer the question on “how can my marriage be saved” lies within you and your spouse.
Categories: Can A Marriage Be Saved?, Causes Of Divorce, Causes Of Marital Failure, Commitment, Common Marital Problems, Developing Healthy Relationships, Healthy Marriage Tips, Let's Go Together, Loving Your Marriage, Making Marriage Work, Resolving Conflicts In A Marriage, Restoring Trust In A Marriage, Save My Marriage Tips Tags: Healing a Broken Marriage, helpful tips, how to stop your divorce and save your marriage, Keeping Your Marriage, Marriage, Marriage Tips For Newlyweds, Ways to Better Your Marriage
Pessimism, discontentment, whining, criticism, cynicism…Terms we equate with negativity. Behaviors of this type, in one way or another, push people away.
Are you negative? Answer the questions below:
Are you are always in a melancholic mood?
Do painful memories haunt you?
Do you always look at the bad side of incidents and events ?
Are you are a perfectionist?
Do you always refuse to do the requests of family and friends?
Are you always afraid?
Do you have sleepless nights over a problem?
Are you easily irritated over small things?
Do you harbor grudges?
Do you easily get impatient?
If you answered “Yes” to most of the questions, you have a negative personality. Work on it early on because it may have a negative impact on your marriage.
The mind is a fertile and peaceful field for those who are naturally positive. People who always choose to look at the bright side are people who are able to roll with life’s punches. If you’re chronically negative, there are ways to get rid of that gray cloud. Try these simple but effective tips:
- Revamp your diet. Eat healthy.
- Get enough sleep. It will help clear your mind. When you get adequate sleep, you’re more alert and ready to do anything.
- Exercise. It releases certain chemicals in your brain which help you feel relaxed and refreshed.
- Listen to positive music. No garbage.
- Spend time on a creative hobby like painting or making crafts. Make it your outlet, so you’ll avoid focusing on those negative thoughts.
- Indulge in life’s simple pleasures like a bubble bath or an apple pie.
- Explore nature. Go hiking. Stargaze.
- Learn to appreciate people and things around you.
- If something bothers you, act on it at once. In a way, think of a solution but “quit thinking about the problem.”
- Practice “Garbage in. Garbage out.” Every night, go through the process of “cleaning your mind.” That way, you’ll have a good and peaceful sleep each time.
- List down your worries, anxieties, or things that bother you. Write down solutions as well.
If you feel a negative thought coming, don’t entertain it. Force your mind to push the negative thoughts back, and replace them with positive thoughts. Don’t focus on your feelings too much. Don’t try to analyse everything. In a way, drive your focus away from yourself. For instance, try to make others happy. “What will you give your spouse for his or her birthday? What can you do for that old widow who lives alone next door?
It’s good for you to hang out with positive people. Positivity is contagious. Learn to give compliments instead of criticism. Tell your spouse that white shirt is a good fit. Don’t be stingy in giving praises and encouragement. With every positive thing you do for others, you’ll feel that working on becoming positive becomes less of a conscious effort. Later on, things will just come naturally.
In your efforts to be a positive person, it’s good advice to tell your spouse everything you’re going through. Get him or her to join you in your daily walk, for instance. He or she is the best person to help you reach your goals.
You have to remember one thing; your marriage is not something you throw away if you find something wrong with it.
Conflicts may strengthen your marriage in one way or another, but conflicts, if left unresolved, will destroy it.
Your Marriage Repair Kit: Things To Remember When You Are In Conflict
- Never let small glitches develop into bigger issues.
- If you’re both angry, just keep quiet.
- Wait until things are calmer before attempting to talk.
- Stick to the subject. Don’t bring up past issues.
- Don’t let others interfere.
- Respect your spouse’s views.
- Don’t get sarcastic.
- Don’t scream at each other.
- Don’t threaten.
- Try to make light of your situation. If you could use a little humor, why not?
- Don’t play the blame game.
- When you’re angry, remember your wedding vows.
- Come to the table; talk about solutions peacefully.
- Always be ready to forgive each other.
- Always be ready to apologize.
What you need:
- Desire to prioritize your marriage
- Conflict management skills
- Willingness to forgive
- Ability to listen
- Respect for others
- Desire to fix the issues
Working on regaining trust is a good sign that you’re willing to make the marriage last. Trust is very important in every relationship, regardless of whether you’re married or not. It’s an important factor to having a peaceful home. If partners trust each other, they’re likely happy.
Loving someone without trusting him or her is impossible. If you love the person, then it follows that you trust him or her as well. If he or she broke your trust, it would be hard to stay in love. A marriage without trust is a weak marriage. Lack of trust or broken trust leads to relationship killers like suspicions, doubts, and arguments.
In order to save your marriage, trust must be reestablished. Betrayal is a hard thing to work through. The person at fault should make every effort to win back the trust of his or her partner. His or her efforts must be genuine.
As trust is not given easily, it’s also not earned easily. Therefore, if trust is broken, regaining it doesn’t happen overnight. You need to work hard to win back what has been lost. If you’re the erring partner, ask for forgiveness. Be true in your intentions to change your ways and save the marriage. If you have to wait for along time to be forgiven, then be patient. To do this, show your partner that you’re genuinely sorry for what you’ve done. Let him or her know how sincere you are in your intention to reconcile with him or her. Confess everything.
On the other hand, if you’re the betrayed partner, it wouldn’t help if you kept bringing up past issues. If your partner is genuinely repentant, help him or her avoid committing the same mistakes and move on. Remember that the capacity to forgive can also mean the capacity to save a troubled marriage. You may have been terribly hurt, but you should be willing to give your partner a second chance if you really want to fix your relationship. Trusting your partner again doesn’t mean you tolerate wrongdoings. If you care enough about your marriage, then you must be willing to forgive and patch things up. If this doesn’t happen, it is doomed.
If you have trust issues in your marriage, help each other fix what has been damaged. Saving your relationship is a two-way process. Regaining trust doesn’t come easy. But if intentions and feelings are genuine, reconciliation is not impossible.
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Can A Marriage Survive Without Trust ?
The absence of trust in a marriage creates a negative impact on the relationship. It can lead to separation. So can a marriage survive if trust isn’t there? That would be a big no. It is like baking a cake without sugar. You don’t want to eat it because it lacks sweetness that makes it tastes good.
It is the same in marriage; trust is one of the most important ingredients in the relationship between husband and wife. It is one of the most essential factors in having a good marriage. It is putting your confidence in your spouse and believing in them.
Try to imagine your relationship without this element. A relationship that is full of doubts is not easy to have. You can encounter a lot of problems from time to time. You are always anxious every time you are not around your partner or with anything he or she does. The absence of trust can also make you sensitive and resentful. Having these on your plate will give you and your relationship no nourishment.
If your partner gives you his or her trust, take care of it. Nurture it. It is easily and heartily given but once broken it is very hard to gain it back. Prove to your partner that you are trustworthy enough. Show them that you are willing to work on their trust to make it stronger. So try to act on what you say. It is through your actions that your spouse can see that you give importance to the trust given to you.
Do you think A Marriage Survive Without Trust ?
However there are certain circumstances you can hardly stop. Betrayal of trust might be one of them. If this happens, you need to strive harder to gain it back. By doing so, you have to double the effort when you try to rebuild it. It will need more of your time and patience to earn it back. Another thing that you must do is convince your partner that you are worthy enough to be trusted again.
Regaining your partner’s trust should be done as soon as possible. If this is not addressed immediately, it may grow to a more serious problem where resolving the issue is impossible.
A you most likely guessed A Marriage can’t Survive Without Trust
A marriage cannot survive if there is no trust. Nonetheless, trust can be regained. Even though it is not easy, it can save your marriage and possibly make it stronger.
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Rebuilding Broken Trust in a marriage or relationship
When a relationship has been marred by infidelity, unfaithfulness, or deception, rebuilding broken trust is one of the most important things to do if the couple wants to save it. Dealing with betrayal can be heart-wrenching, affecting face every aspect of a person’s life.
Rebuilding Broken Trust requires you to mend your relationship
Rebuilding Broken Trust requires you to mend your relationship even if it is tough. Some problems can’t be fixed overnight, and some may need a lot of time and effort to overcome. Trust is a delicate issue. If it’s broken, it’s going to require much work and time to get fixed. But once it’s regained, it’s going to be very fulfilling for the relationship.
• Forget the past, and look forward to what is ahead. Forgetting the past doesn’t mean that you tolerate any wrong acts. Forgiving your spouse means giving a chance for your relationship to grow. You won’t be able to get on with the marriage if you always dwell on mistakes. Wounds need to be healed for you to move on.
• Make an agreement. Talk to your spouse about things you both need to do to make the marriage work. The act of simply coming to the table to talk is a good indicator of getting things fixed.
• If you’re the cheated party, sincerely forgive your spouse. Don’t say you’ve forgiven him or her if you keep bringing up resolved issues or past mistakes.
• Don’t keep things from each other. Openness is necessary in a relationship as it discourages cheating and lying.
• Empathise. Empathising is not only hearing and understanding the words that your spouse has to say, it is also understanding what he or she feels and acting on it.
• Be responsible for your actions. If you’re the erring spouse, ask for forgiveness. Show your spouse that you’ve changed for the better. This way, he or she will know that you’re sincere in your efforts to gain back the lost trust.
• Ask for help. If you see that everything you do is not improving the relationship, seek the help of other people. It can be a friend or a counsellor. Since they’re not part of the relationship, they see the bigger picture and may be able to give sound advice from a different perspective.
• Renew your commitment. Let your partner know that you still care about the marriage, and you want to work on it.
Going the extra mile when trials come is a big step towards a successful marriage. Even if society dictates that you separate, it will ultimately boil down to your decision. You have a choice to fix your relationship, and that starts with gaining back lost trust.
Rebuilding Broken Trust Takes time and effort.
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How to fix marriage after trust is gone is not a snap of the fingers
Trust begins at the dating stage – the time when two individuals are getting to know each other. It’s in this stage that you decide if the person you’re dating is worthy enough to be trusted. If you trust each other, then you move into the courting stage.
When you’re able to maintain trust or take it to the next level, you stand a chance for a good marriage. But if trust is broken, it’s difficult to get it back. Some marriages are not able to recover. It can leave a permanent mark on the relationship. The marriage can end up in divorce.
So what can you do to heal your relationship if you’ve broken your spouse’s trust?
How to fix marriage after trust is gone ?
First is to admit your faults and ask for forgiveness. You have to take responsibility for your actions. Confessing your mistakes isn’t easy, but if you still value your relationship, then you should be willing to talk and humble yourself. Your spouse deserves an honest explanation. He or she may not be initially receptive to your reasons, but be willing to tough it out. Swallow your pride. It may take a while for wounds to heal. What’s important is you’re able to do what you’re supposed to do.
Give your spouse time to heal. You can help him or her by being honest and by doing things that prove you’re sincere. Show your spouse that you deserve to be trusted again. Mean everything you say. Actions will reflect and verify your sincerity. Doing acts of love, kindness, and every good thing there is will help restore the trust that was lost.
Have the patience and willingness to wait. Healing doesn’t happen overnight. Just as physical wounds take time to heal, so do emotional wounds. Be consistent. Don’t give up.
Healing and reconciliation are possible after trust issues, but this isn’t to say that once the wound heals, it will magically disappear. Of course, realistically speaking, a scar might remain. But even then, scars can fade with the passage of time.
Fixing marriage after trust is gone takes time and effort from both parties.
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