It’s fascinating – two opposite poles attract each other. This is specially made more interesting by the idea that it is their oppositeness that attracts them to each other – a perfect metaphor to describe the relationship between a man and a woman. It is common knowledge that men and women are wired differently. Males are logical and practical, while females are emotional and expressive. Initially, differences may be viewed as something that makes the courtship more exciting. We may become interested in someone we meet because he or she is different from us, and it excites us to know him or her better.
“Before the wedding, differences tend to be intriguing, interesting, and attractive. A few months or years into the marriage, however, what seemed so inviting in the semi-fantasy world of dating now seems considerably less than idyllic,” says Phillip J. Swihart in the book, “The First Five Years of Marriage”.
When a couple settles into the humdrum of marriage, tensions set in. Monotony and proximity become the breeding ground for ill feelings that have the potential to destroy the relationship – for instance, those little habits couples find so annoying in each other. Those differences that used to spark excitement now spark a fight or an argument, and couples find themselves facing situations like these:
1. He wants to watch sports. She wants to watch soaps.
2. He wants to take a nap. She wants him to get up and fix the cabinet.
3. He doesn’t ask directions. She wants him to speak up.
4. He wants to keep quiet. She wants to make a fuss.
5. He seems to be insensitive. She wants him to care.
These are stereotypical concepts of men and women:
1. Men work and women stay at home.
2. Men earn more than women.
But sometimes, conflicts arise because spouses don’t behave according to the stereotypical concepts society has of them. A husband who is a weakling may turn out to be a disappointment and be stamped as henpecked, a big blow to the male ego. A wife earning more may create insecurities in her husband.
Here are some tips to manage these differences and prevent them from eating up your relationship:
1. Acknowledge that men and women are different but that gender differences refer only to sensibilities and behaviour, not necessarily a basis on who is better, more intelligent, and more skilled.
2. Be selfless. Consider your spouse’s feelings before you do or say anything.
3. Compromise and meet halfway. If your spouse is dying to watch that primetime show tonight, let go of the remote control. It won’t kill you. Or better yet, you can both watch something else together. That’s the essence of meeting halfway.
4. Keep communication lines open. Most relationships fail because neither one knows what the other is thinking or feeling. If you are honest with each other, it is likely you will be able to work out your differences. Don’t just keep quiet, but don’t nag either.
Let us see gender differences in a different light; as something that makes relationships more exciting rather than something that divides. A wife who loves talking is a perfect complement to a husband who is a man of few words. A husband who loves to go fishing is right for a wife who loves to cook.
Make gender differences work for you and not against you.
Helpful tips for someone wondering “can my marriage be saved?”
Today more than any other time in the history of marriage, the rate of divorce has multiplied to some unbelievable levels. There is an increased concern from all quarters as people ask the question “can my marriage be saved?” almost every day. The institution of marriage seems to be in trouble today more than any other time in history. It is important to understand that any marriage can be saved if only the two people involved are willing to have it healed.
Have you been asking how “can my marriage be saved?” Well, there are numerous things that you should understand if this is the situation you are in. Below are some of the things that you should consider:
Can my marriage be saved by admitting that I need help?
To begin with, you must never shy away from admitting that your marriage is in deep trouble and that you need help. A spouse who has this question in their mind would want things to appear normal from outside but the truth of the matter is that this does not help in any way. The first step towards the healing of your marriage does not lie in just wondering “can my marriage be saved?” but in what you do after this question has risen in your mind.
Your marriage can be saved by working together with your spouse.
Never assume that things will work themselves out miraculously. Many people normally bury their heads in the sand ignoring or totally pretending that the problem will disappear on its own. You must come up with a plan that includes identifying the problem and how to go about it. It must be noted, however, that this is not an easy thing to do. It is, however, also worth noting that divorce is not the easiest thing to do. If you can’t solve the issue on your own, then discuss seeking a counsellor’s help in order to save you marriage.
Marriage can be saved by understanding that your marriage is heading towards divorce
Those asking “can my marriage be saved” normally do so after having suffered for too long and are almost on the brink of divorce. It is important to agree that the problem is not one-sided; it involves the two people in the marriage and therefore, the solution can only come from the two. Pointing fingers and the blame game is not the way to go and each spouse should look deep within themselves to see their contribution to the problem. Be flexible and seek to make things better by compromising during the solution seeking moments.
Many who have been wondering how “can my marriage be saved?” normally lack the patience to deal with issues amicably. Many normally see divorce as the better way, but the truth of the matter is that this is more painful than humbling through the process of healing. Repairing a marriage in trouble takes more than a few hours and patience is of great importance. You must give full attention to the process.
Can my marriage be saved by asking for professional help?
Professional help from a pastor or counsellor is also important if you are wondering “how can my marriage be saved?” and especially if the problems are more than you can handle between the both of you. The involvement of a third party should come as one of the last things you do.
It is important to note that every marital problem can be solved instead of ending in divorce. There is never a perfect spouse and leaving your spouse for another person will only be like jumping from a pan into a flame of fire. With patience, you will find that the power to answer the question on “how can my marriage be saved” lies within you and your spouse.
Categories: Can A Marriage Be Saved?, Causes Of Divorce, Causes Of Marital Failure, Commitment, Common Marital Problems, Developing Healthy Relationships, Healthy Marriage Tips, Let's Go Together, Loving Your Marriage, Making Marriage Work, Resolving Conflicts In A Marriage, Restoring Trust In A Marriage, Save My Marriage Tips Tags: Healing a Broken Marriage, helpful tips, how to stop your divorce and save your marriage, Keeping Your Marriage, Marriage, Marriage Tips For Newlyweds, Ways to Better Your Marriage
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How many ways I love you
Saying “I love you” to your partner at least once a day does wonders to your marriage; healing rifts, easing tensions, bridging gaps, or simply making your relationship more exciting. “Saying” I love you ironically doesn’t only involve words. The cliche, “Action speaks louder than words,” is best interpreted in a marriage. Although verbally expressing your love to your spouse is important, you can very well say “I love you” even without speaking.
To express How many ways I love you. You should do more than talk.
• Write love quotes to your spouse. Leave them under his or her pillow or mug, or in his or her pocket.
• Every now and then, grant his or her wish. Act like a bridge towards his or her dream.
• When he or she is talking, listen!
• Be like an angel from above to him or her.
• Surprise him or her with gifts. Don’t wait for your anniversary to pamper him or her.
• Share your feelings.
• Try to be pleasant always.
• Dance with your spouse.
• Do his or her chores.
• Plan and cook meals together.
• When you talk, hold his or her hand.
There are many more ways to show How many ways I love you to your partner.
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