Becoming Friends With Your Partner
A study shows that the majority of marital problems that start out as minor glitches, when handled properly, end up getting solved or at least not totally damaging the relationship. Same research shows that problems that start out as “big” will end up more and more negative, propelled by heated arguments. This type of problem is not easy to resolve. It can lead to divorce because things may look like they’re impossible to fix. If you’re in this situation, take heart. There’s hope. If your spouse has suddenly become like a stranger again, try to be friends with him or her. Yes, you read it right. Form a friendship with your spouse apart from that romantic and intimate relationship you share with him or her. Cultivating a “fun” bond with your better half will help you get the best out of your marriage.
Why is it hard to be friends with your spouse?
It’s hard to be friends with your spouse because of gender issues. Let’s get down to the basics. Boys befriend boys and girls befriend girls. Before boys and girls arrive at a level where they develop crushes on the opposite sex, they first reach the point wherein they don’t care about each other. They tend to enjoy different things. What’s for boys is for boys and what’s for girls is for girls. But eventually, boys and girls get attracted to each other. A girl starts talking to her friends about the boy she has a huge crush on. A boy begins to talk to his buddies about that pretty girl in school.
According to one U.S. study, males and females have different brain architecture. They tend to approach situations differently. They have little experience being best friends with each other. Men find it easier to be friends with men than with women. Women find it easier to be friends with women than with men. Men talk openly with their buddies about anything. Women have what they call “girls’ stuff”. Men and women may have different preferences, but underneath they still have the same basic needs such as the need to belong and to form attachments.
What is it like being friends with your spouse?
Several studies suggest that better marriages are composed of couples who are friends with each other. Ever had that feeling where you can’t wait to see your best friend because you have something “important” to tell him or her? It also applies when you have that kind of friendship with your spouse. You’ll be excited to spend time together, and you enjoy each other’s company. When you talk, he or she really listens to you. You never run out of topics to talk about. When you’re happy, he or she is happy for you. When you’re sad, he or she feels for you. Your spouse stands by you no matter what.
By all means, a lover is way different from a friend. But this doesn’t mean you can’t be friends with your spouse. Make him or her your best friend. Talk. Don’t allow stretches of silence when you can have real conversations. Find good topics. Go out together not as lovers on a date but as buddies having fun. Share your feelings. Build laughter and good times on your common interests. How exciting can that be?
What Men Need To Know About Women
A man needs to know that a woman is different, and it’s normal that she’s different. It means that no matter how long you’ve been together, it’s possible that you still don’t completely understand her. But you can do a lot of things to be able to live with your differences. Read her. Observe how she thinks and acts. Find out her feelings. Respect her preferences.
What Women Need To Know About Men
In many ways, a man is different from a woman. Differences should be respected. Just because he’s different from you doesn’t mean he’s wrong. If he sees things differently from you, it’s not reason enough to reject him. Instead, accept him for who he is and what he is. Men are less complex people than women You don’t have to do a lot of guessing to find out what a man wants. Support him in the good things he’s doing. Don’t nag and pester him with questions.
What is the outcome of being friends with your spouse?
When you establish friendship with your spouse, you’ll have better communication, decreasing chances for conflicts and problems. When you two are having fun, your conversations are mostly based on positive things. This is not to say you’ll have no difficulties anymore the moment you hit it off as friends, but with your good relationship, it’s not very hard to get past the challenges. If your marriage needs growth, cultivate friendship with your spouse. Being best friends with him or her is the smartest thing you can do.