Tips And Secrets For A Successful And Happy Married Life

Tips And Secrets For A Successful And Happy Married Life

Happy Married Life

Image by Vijay Bandari - Moved to other account via Flickr

Marriage can be complicated, but with preparation, dedication, and commitment to make it work, it’s possible for a couple to enjoy a happy married life. Vast resources on how to maintain a healthy marriage are available for newly married couples and even those who have been married for a long time.

Tips for a Happy Married Life

  1. Become each other’s best friend. There’s a saying that relationships between friends tend to last longer compared to relationships founded on pure romance.
  2. Dismiss the idea of divorce. Maintaining an opt-out option in a relationship always leaves spouses some freedom to give up on the relationship they both built. Instead of considering divorce, it’s recommended that both sides find ways to fix their differences and misunderstandings.
  3. Communicate. There’s nothing that can’t be resolved by sitting down and sorting out individual differences. Issues raised can be better dealt with through an open and peaceful verbal exchange than a spur-of-the-moment fight that surely makes matters worse. Apart from resolving conflicts, good communication enables both parties to learn more about each other.
  4. Listen. Conversations and listening make a good combination for a successful marriage. You and your partner should be each other’s go-to person whenever he or she wants to share his or her thoughts and feelings.
  5. Trust. This should be one of the primary building blocks of your relationship. A marriage without trust can crumble easily. A relationship that feeds on cheating, betrayal, deception, suspicions, and dishonesty will never last.
  6. Respect each other. When you get too comfortable with your partner, you might not mind they and not mind the way you are treating him/her. This comfort level might blind you to the fact that you have been disrespectful all along. When this happens, always remember that like you, nobody wants to be treated this way. Respect also involves accepting or not dismissing your spouse’s views even though they’re different from yours.
  7. Arguing is part of the relationship. Sure, marriage is no fairy tale. A relationship is shared by two unique individuals so it’s already a given truth that at certain points in life, arguments will arise. Just don’t let these arguments turn into nasty and ugly fights.
  8. Be clear in your expectations in the relationship. It may sound demanding, but it’s a type of preventive measure that couples can do so that they won’t clash early on in their relationship. This way, both are informed of what one expects from the other.
  9. Respect each other’s space. Sometimes couples tend to forget that their spouse is a unique individual and has his or her own life outside of the relationship. Keeping in mind the idea of individuality will make you less prone to controlling your spouse’s decision and even his or her life. No one wants to be dictated on his or her every move.
  10. Never enter a relationship with the intention of “fixing” your partner. There are two unique individuals in a relationship who share a bond – love. This isn’t to say that you and your spouse share everything, every preference. There will be times that you will find yourselves on opposite sides of the fence. Like in a yin-yang effect, rather than “fixing” your spouse, why don’t you try looking for traits in him or her that complement yours?
  11. Always remember the difference of falling in love and being in love. As complicated as falling in love is, being in love requires more effort from both partners. For one, falling in love is so easy, but being or staying in love isn’t.
  12. Take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you don’t let your spouse pamper you. Don’t allow external forces to stress you or pressure you, which can take a toll on your relationship.
  13. Observe what is not working in the relationship. Finding out who’s wrong and who’s to blame may only put more pressure on an already shaky relationship. So rather than dwell on blaming, it’s best to evaluate what’s working and what’s not. This way an issue can be straightened out right away without the need for someone to take all the blame for messing things up.
  14. Don’t ever forget to add intimacy to a relationship. This is one important ingredient of a relationship. Intimacy happens when we are comfortable with sharing our world with this complete stranger that you chose to love and spend the rest of your life with. Being intimate with your partner allows him or her to feel that he or she is an important aspect of your life, which is why you choose to share something private and dear to you.
  15. Put words into action. Actions do speak louder than words especially in a relationship. If you promise the stars and the moon to your spouse, but never deliver, it would compromise your relationship. Remember that efforts, albeit simple, are needed to keep a relationship going.
  16. Invest on little gestures. Surprises can sweep your spouse off his or her feet. A surprise doesn’t have to be expensive. Cooking breakfast, taking the kids to school, giving flower, or buying your spouse’s favourite magazine are just some of the many small things you can do to spice up your relationship.
  17. Sometimes it is more productive to learn how to manage problems rather than solve them. This is particularly true of problems that are sprouting every now and then. While it’s ideal to resolve a problem quickly, the world we live in isn’t ideal, so we need to understand and acquire the ability of managing issues in a relationship. You need a problem management strategy to arrive at the right solutions for the eventual resolution of the issues that keep on popping up in your relationship.
  18. Share interests together. While it’s already a fact that two persons in a relationship are very distinct individuals, there are still some activities, hobbies, or interests that you share a passion for. Sharing the same passion allows the couple to spend more time together and to have more reasons to be together, which in turn take their relationship to another level.
  19. Spend time together. Let’s all confess that time may be the most precious gift one could ever receive these days. In a society that’s always preoccupied with work, a person who chooses to spend his or her whole weekend with his or her spouse is as priceless a spouse as a diamond.
  20. Don’t ever forget to say “I love you.” Even if a couple has been married for years now, it’s important for them to regularly express their feelings for each other. This way, they’re reminded of the reason why they are together in the first place.
  21. Never take sex for granted. While sex isn’t the main foundation of a relationship, it shouldn’t also be left on the backseat. Reach out to your spouse, and care to know what he or she wants in your sexual relationship so that both of you will find satisfaction in your sex life.
  22. Plan the financial aspect of your relationship. Many relationships end due to misunderstandings in terms of finances. Financial obligations can be an energy-sapping responsibility for a couple and can be the cause of their clash. The best solution is to create a plan which will help you monitor your spending.
  23. Give and take. There are two people in a relationship, so it’s better if both have their say on what happens in their relationship. This way, no one’s desires will be left out and the needs of both parties can be addressed.
  24. Don’t allow the relationship to be dependent on only one party. Even the most hardworking person gets tired at times. With this in mind, never let your relationship slip into a situation where only one of you does all the work. Your relationship depends on you both and not only on one party.
  25. Keep the relationship fun. In the course of you being together, there may be times that both of you feel that you’re stuck which has you questioning the status of your relationship. Get rid of those bumps. Choose to have fun together.
  26. Stay positive. An optimistic outlook may be the best weapon anyone in a relationship can have. Despite the issues and challenges, positive thinking still wins.
  27. Learn to forgive. It’s a fact that nobody in this world is perfect. So, it won’t be a big deal if you learn to forgive your partner’s mistakes. Remember that you also might have committed mistakes along the way and he or she was able to forgive you.
  28. Be considerate. As there are two persons in a relationship, it would be best for couples to consult each other before making decisions.
  29.  Be loyal. This is a must for those in a relationship. Being loyal encompasses many things in a relationship, It shows respect for the partner, obeying the law and doing your part to keep the relationship strong and healthy.
  30. Some things are meant to be private. There are things that can be shared and there are things that are to be shared only between spouses. Decide what can be told to friends and family, so you can draw the line on what information should be kept private.
  31. Express gratitude. Some people in a relationship tend to become so comfortable that they forget to say a simple “thank you” for their spouse’s efforts and gestures. While you should be comfortable with your spouse, remember that like you, he or she would also appreciate it if a simple gratitude were extended towards him or her after a favour or a gesture.
  32. Recognise the fact that most men are not verbal. Men tend to be more action-oriented rather than verbal. Women tend to be more verbal and give importance to the thought behind the action. Accepting gender differences will help you adjust your expectations of each other.
  33. Learn the proper way to complain. Be specific and gentle when complaining. Air “constructive complaints. How you say something matters as much as what you say.
  34. Take turns in taking care of the kids. As parents, you both share responsibilities in looking after your children. A husband must learn to, at least, take this responsibility from his wife sometimes. This way the wife doesn’t only get to take the day or night off, but the husband can also spend quality time with his kids.
  35. Consider each other’s opinion. Each person has his or her own unique view on all things that exist in this world. Learn to ask each other’s opinion on important aspects of the marriage, and you both will discover how fruitful things can get if both sides are considered when coming to a decision or action.
  36. Laugh. Laughter is the best medicine, as they say. This is very much applicable for couples who are trapped in the challenges of married life. Learning how to laugh together with your spouse despite the issues and challenges that come your way builds a bond that nothing can break.
  37. Relive your honeymoon once in a while. Honeymoons aren’t only meant for newlyweds; even those who have been married for a long time can also take pleasure in sharing honeymoon moments.
  38. Accept the fact that marriage is a lifetime of work. Your wedding is a one-day event; marriage on the other hand is shared every day from then on. This means you and your spouse will be sharing the ups and downs of life, as well as the changes that come with them. Be prepared to do your part to keep the relationship strong, and never aim for second-best resolutions or achievements.
  39. Be realistic. Yes it may be helpful to think that you’re living a fairy tale, but there are some aspects of life that require some realistic views. Never aim for a perfect partner. Instead, learn to understand and accept his or her ways.
  40. Learn when to be apologetic. Issues arise due to someone’s wrongdoings or shortcomings. If you committed a mistake, be quick to admit your fault and say sorry. This way, issues can be prevented from becoming too big and too complex to be resolved.
  41. Never forget important dates. Birthdays, anniversaries, or your first date. The dates may be just normal days for others, but between the two of you, these dates are milestones, a very big part of your relationship and your lives.
  42. Wedding rings. Your wedding ring is the physical remembrance of your promise to live with each other through thick and thin. Treat it like the most valuable material possession in your life due to its significance in your marriage.
  43. Avoid competition. Keep in mind that a husband and a wife are a unit. Never fall into a competition of who’s who in your relationship. While being competitive can spell success for many, it’s something unhealthy if practiced between spouses.
  44. Never underestimate the power of cuddling. Cuddling, though simple, can have a powerful effect on your relationship. Since our infant years, touch is something that has created wonders in this world, and its wonders are even supported by scientific studies.
  45. Be open to compromise. Yes there will be disagreements in a relationship and learning how to compromise is one thing that can keep your bond strong. Of course, this should be a two-way process.
  46. Never forget your friends. Sometimes when one gets into a relationship, he or she tends to forget his or her friends. Having your friends by your side enables you to bring in more freshness into the relationship. They can even be a support system to making your marriage stronger.
  47.  Try something new. Even if you both try to avoid it, there will come a time in your marriage that you’ll be stuck in a bad situation. This is when you and your spouse can try something new in your relationship. Share new hobbies together. Discovering a new sport or supporting a charity together are just some of the many things that you can do.
  48.  Date like it’s your first time. Never forget how you both dated in your earlier years. This will allow you both to remember the reason why you fell in love with your spouse. Date the way you’ve dated before.
  49. Talk. Talk. Talk. This is something that cannot be told once. Talking does something great to a relationship; issues are cleared, information is related, and interests are shared.
  50. Stick together. Sounds cliché, but it’s the only way for a relationship to last. Standing by your partner is something that can enable you both to survive any problems that have the potential to destroy your relationship. Remember – STICK TOGETHER.

These Tips if implemented with Lead you to a Happy Married Life

There are a thousand or even a million different pieces of advice available for a married couple to try, with some not even proven to be worth the try. The best strategy for a husband and wife is still to find the right attitude and build a strong bond between them, which is something that will enable them to surpass any obstacle they will face in their married life.