Have you ever had an intense argument with your spouse?
I’m sure you it’s not something you want to happen again. Both parties don’t gain anything from such ugly arguments but a damaged relationship. Most people don’t know how to handle tough situations like these and just retreat, hoping that the matter will just get fixed on its own.
If you don’t want to have nasty fights with your spouse, learn how to resolve the problem without criticising, yelling, and hurling insults. Let the love you feel for your spouse take control and not anger.
There are five things that a couple should consider to ensure good communication in a relationship. Don’t:
What You Should Avoid Unfortunately, when our spouse complains or verbally attacks us, our natural tendency is to show him or her that he or she is the one who is wrong—while we’re totally innocent. Have you ever told your spouse how wrong he or she was and he or she responded, “Yes, you’re right.”? It doesn’t happen that way. Arguing about who is right and who is wrong leads to escalating frustration. Quit blaming each other. It makes matters worse.
When your spouse verbally attacks you or begins to complain about certain matters, your instincts tell you to fight back and defend yourself. Throwing the blame back is wrong. It only feeds the argument.
Don’t bring up negative things of the past. If your spouse did something wrong long ago, and the matter was already settled, let it rest. Don’t use issues of the past just to prove that you’re right. If you do, your spouse will become more defensive and will be harder to deal with. Throwing past mistakes in your spouse’s face makes things more complicated.
When problems arise, why blame the spouse immediately? Is he or she the only one responsible for the relationship? These are questions you should ask yourself before you open your mouth. Solving problems doesn’t entail blaming and pointing fingers.
What You Should Do
Marriage will be filled with nasty arguments and disagreements if the simple don’ts are not avoided. There are two things you should always remember.
The first is, understand each point of view and respect it. As humans, we are each entitled to our own point of view. Respect your spouse’s opinions even if you disagree. When your spouse feels that you completely understand him or her, solving problems becomes easier. The second point is to ask for your spouse’s suggestions on how to solve your problems. Brainstorming for solutions is much more peaceful than arguing.