Posts tagged "Marriage"

Tips And Secrets For A Successful And Happy Married Life

Tips And Secrets For A Successful And Happy Married Life

Happy Married Life

Image by Vijay Bandari - Moved to other account via Flickr

Marriage can be complicated, but with preparation, dedication, and commitment to make it work, it’s possible for a couple to enjoy a happy married life. Vast resources on how to maintain a healthy marriage are available for newly married couples and even those who have been married for a long time.

Tips for a Happy Married Life

  1. Become each other’s best friend. There’s a saying that relationships between friends tend to last longer compared to relationships founded on pure romance.
  2. Dismiss the idea of divorce. Maintaining an opt-out option in a relationship always leaves spouses some freedom to give up on the relationship they both built. Instead of considering divorce, it’s recommended that both sides find ways to fix their differences and misunderstandings.
  3. Communicate. There’s nothing that can’t be resolved by sitting down and sorting out individual differences. Issues raised can be better dealt with through an open and peaceful verbal exchange than a spur-of-the-moment fight that surely makes matters worse. Apart from resolving conflicts, good communication enables both parties to learn more about each other.
  4. Listen. Conversations and listening make a good combination for a successful marriage. You and your partner should be each other’s go-to person whenever he or she wants to share his or her thoughts and feelings.
  5. Trust. This should be one of the primary building blocks of your relationship. A marriage without trust can crumble easily. A relationship that feeds on cheating, betrayal, deception, suspicions, and dishonesty will never last.
  6. Respect each other. When you get too comfortable with your partner, you might not mind they and not mind the way you are treating him/her. This comfort level might blind you to the fact that you have been disrespectful all along. When this happens, always remember that like you, nobody wants to be treated this way. Respect also involves accepting or not dismissing your spouse’s views even though they’re different from yours.
  7. Arguing is part of the relationship. Sure, marriage is no fairy tale. A relationship is shared by two unique individuals so it’s already a given truth that at certain points in life, arguments will arise. Just don’t let these arguments turn into nasty and ugly fights.
  8. Be clear in your expectations in the relationship. It may sound demanding, but it’s a type of preventive measure that couples can do so that they won’t clash early on in their relationship. This way, both are informed of what one expects from the other.
  9. Respect each other’s space. Sometimes couples tend to forget that their spouse is a unique individual and has his or her own life outside of the relationship. Keeping in mind the idea of individuality will make you less prone to controlling your spouse’s decision and even his or her life. No one wants to be dictated on his or her every move.
  10. Never enter a relationship with the intention of “fixing” your partner. There are two unique individuals in a relationship who share a bond – love. This isn’t to say that you and your spouse share everything, every preference. There will be times that you will find yourselves on opposite sides of the fence. Like in a yin-yang effect, rather than “fixing” your spouse, why don’t you try looking for traits in him or her that complement yours?
  11. Always remember the difference of falling in love and being in love. As complicated as falling in love is, being in love requires more effort from both partners. For one, falling in love is so easy, but being or staying in love isn’t.
  12. Take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you don’t let your spouse pamper you. Don’t allow external forces to stress you or pressure you, which can take a toll on your relationship.
  13. Observe what is not working in the relationship. Finding out who’s wrong and who’s to blame may only put more pressure on an already shaky relationship. So rather than dwell on blaming, it’s best to evaluate what’s working and what’s not. This way an issue can be straightened out right away without the need for someone to take all the blame for messing things up.
  14. Don’t ever forget to add intimacy to a relationship. This is one important ingredient of a relationship. Intimacy happens when we are comfortable with sharing our world with this complete stranger that you chose to love and spend the rest of your life with. Being intimate with your partner allows him or her to feel that he or she is an important aspect of your life, which is why you choose to share something private and dear to you.
  15. Put words into action. Actions do speak louder than words especially in a relationship. If you promise the stars and the moon to your spouse, but never deliver, it would compromise your relationship. Remember that efforts, albeit simple, are needed to keep a relationship going.
  16. Invest on little gestures. Surprises can sweep your spouse off his or her feet. A surprise doesn’t have to be expensive. Cooking breakfast, taking the kids to school, giving flower, or buying your spouse’s favourite magazine are just some of the many small things you can do to spice up your relationship.
  17. Sometimes it is more productive to learn how to manage problems rather than solve them. This is particularly true of problems that are sprouting every now and then. While it’s ideal to resolve a problem quickly, the world we live in isn’t ideal, so we need to understand and acquire the ability of managing issues in a relationship. You need a problem management strategy to arrive at the right solutions for the eventual resolution of the issues that keep on popping up in your relationship.
  18. Share interests together. While it’s already a fact that two persons in a relationship are very distinct individuals, there are still some activities, hobbies, or interests that you share a passion for. Sharing the same passion allows the couple to spend more time together and to have more reasons to be together, which in turn take their relationship to another level.
  19. Spend time together. Let’s all confess that time may be the most precious gift one could ever receive these days. In a society that’s always preoccupied with work, a person who chooses to spend his or her whole weekend with his or her spouse is as priceless a spouse as a diamond.
  20. Don’t ever forget to say “I love you.” Even if a couple has been married for years now, it’s important for them to regularly express their feelings for each other. This way, they’re reminded of the reason why they are together in the first place.
  21. Never take sex for granted. While sex isn’t the main foundation of a relationship, it shouldn’t also be left on the backseat. Reach out to your spouse, and care to know what he or she wants in your sexual relationship so that both of you will find satisfaction in your sex life.
  22. Plan the financial aspect of your relationship. Many relationships end due to misunderstandings in terms of finances. Financial obligations can be an energy-sapping responsibility for a couple and can be the cause of their clash. The best solution is to create a plan which will help you monitor your spending.
  23. Give and take. There are two people in a relationship, so it’s better if both have their say on what happens in their relationship. This way, no one’s desires will be left out and the needs of both parties can be addressed.
  24. Don’t allow the relationship to be dependent on only one party. Even the most hardworking person gets tired at times. With this in mind, never let your relationship slip into a situation where only one of you does all the work. Your relationship depends on you both and not only on one party.
  25. Keep the relationship fun. In the course of you being together, there may be times that both of you feel that you’re stuck which has you questioning the status of your relationship. Get rid of those bumps. Choose to have fun together.
  26. Stay positive. An optimistic outlook may be the best weapon anyone in a relationship can have. Despite the issues and challenges, positive thinking still wins.
  27. Learn to forgive. It’s a fact that nobody in this world is perfect. So, it won’t be a big deal if you learn to forgive your partner’s mistakes. Remember that you also might have committed mistakes along the way and he or she was able to forgive you.
  28. Be considerate. As there are two persons in a relationship, it would be best for couples to consult each other before making decisions.
  29.  Be loyal. This is a must for those in a relationship. Being loyal encompasses many things in a relationship, It shows respect for the partner, obeying the law and doing your part to keep the relationship strong and healthy.
  30. Some things are meant to be private. There are things that can be shared and there are things that are to be shared only between spouses. Decide what can be told to friends and family, so you can draw the line on what information should be kept private.
  31. Express gratitude. Some people in a relationship tend to become so comfortable that they forget to say a simple “thank you” for their spouse’s efforts and gestures. While you should be comfortable with your spouse, remember that like you, he or she would also appreciate it if a simple gratitude were extended towards him or her after a favour or a gesture.
  32. Recognise the fact that most men are not verbal. Men tend to be more action-oriented rather than verbal. Women tend to be more verbal and give importance to the thought behind the action. Accepting gender differences will help you adjust your expectations of each other.
  33. Learn the proper way to complain. Be specific and gentle when complaining. Air “constructive complaints. How you say something matters as much as what you say.
  34. Take turns in taking care of the kids. As parents, you both share responsibilities in looking after your children. A husband must learn to, at least, take this responsibility from his wife sometimes. This way the wife doesn’t only get to take the day or night off, but the husband can also spend quality time with his kids.
  35. Consider each other’s opinion. Each person has his or her own unique view on all things that exist in this world. Learn to ask each other’s opinion on important aspects of the marriage, and you both will discover how fruitful things can get if both sides are considered when coming to a decision or action.
  36. Laugh. Laughter is the best medicine, as they say. This is very much applicable for couples who are trapped in the challenges of married life. Learning how to laugh together with your spouse despite the issues and challenges that come your way builds a bond that nothing can break.
  37. Relive your honeymoon once in a while. Honeymoons aren’t only meant for newlyweds; even those who have been married for a long time can also take pleasure in sharing honeymoon moments.
  38. Accept the fact that marriage is a lifetime of work. Your wedding is a one-day event; marriage on the other hand is shared every day from then on. This means you and your spouse will be sharing the ups and downs of life, as well as the changes that come with them. Be prepared to do your part to keep the relationship strong, and never aim for second-best resolutions or achievements.
  39. Be realistic. Yes it may be helpful to think that you’re living a fairy tale, but there are some aspects of life that require some realistic views. Never aim for a perfect partner. Instead, learn to understand and accept his or her ways.
  40. Learn when to be apologetic. Issues arise due to someone’s wrongdoings or shortcomings. If you committed a mistake, be quick to admit your fault and say sorry. This way, issues can be prevented from becoming too big and too complex to be resolved.
  41. Never forget important dates. Birthdays, anniversaries, or your first date. The dates may be just normal days for others, but between the two of you, these dates are milestones, a very big part of your relationship and your lives.
  42. Wedding rings. Your wedding ring is the physical remembrance of your promise to live with each other through thick and thin. Treat it like the most valuable material possession in your life due to its significance in your marriage.
  43. Avoid competition. Keep in mind that a husband and a wife are a unit. Never fall into a competition of who’s who in your relationship. While being competitive can spell success for many, it’s something unhealthy if practiced between spouses.
  44. Never underestimate the power of cuddling. Cuddling, though simple, can have a powerful effect on your relationship. Since our infant years, touch is something that has created wonders in this world, and its wonders are even supported by scientific studies.
  45. Be open to compromise. Yes there will be disagreements in a relationship and learning how to compromise is one thing that can keep your bond strong. Of course, this should be a two-way process.
  46. Never forget your friends. Sometimes when one gets into a relationship, he or she tends to forget his or her friends. Having your friends by your side enables you to bring in more freshness into the relationship. They can even be a support system to making your marriage stronger.
  47.  Try something new. Even if you both try to avoid it, there will come a time in your marriage that you’ll be stuck in a bad situation. This is when you and your spouse can try something new in your relationship. Share new hobbies together. Discovering a new sport or supporting a charity together are just some of the many things that you can do.
  48.  Date like it’s your first time. Never forget how you both dated in your earlier years. This will allow you both to remember the reason why you fell in love with your spouse. Date the way you’ve dated before.
  49. Talk. Talk. Talk. This is something that cannot be told once. Talking does something great to a relationship; issues are cleared, information is related, and interests are shared.
  50. Stick together. Sounds cliché, but it’s the only way for a relationship to last. Standing by your partner is something that can enable you both to survive any problems that have the potential to destroy your relationship. Remember – STICK TOGETHER.

These Tips if implemented with Lead you to a Happy Married Life

There are a thousand or even a million different pieces of advice available for a married couple to try, with some not even proven to be worth the try. The best strategy for a husband and wife is still to find the right attitude and build a strong bond between them, which is something that will enable them to surpass any obstacle they will face in their married life.

 

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Posted by Marvellous Marriage - December 9, 2017 at 5:16 AM

Categories: Healthy Marriage Tips   Tags: , ,

The Health Effects Of Marital Stress

The Health Effects Of Marital Stress

Couple married in a shinto ceremony in Takayam...
Image via Wikipedia

A study conducted by Baker reveals the effects of married life on health. People with troubled marriages are likely to suffer from health problems.  Did you know that marital stress is one of the many reasons for a decrease in insulin? Baker states that stress doubles the risk of developing diabetes. Another study in Sweden revealed that in women, the chance of having a second heart attack is three times greater than that of any other heart patients, if their marital stress is above average.

There Are Negative Health Effects Of Marital Stress

In a study by the famous psychologist and author John Gottman, PhD, it has been proven that positive marital interactions boost your immunity and reduce the risk of heart attack. In short, if your married life is great, your risk of developing heart-related and sugar-related ailments is reduced.  In short, a happy marriage means long life.

Gottman stresses the need for developing a good relationship with your spouse for longevity. He is a pioneer in marriage research who has conducted several studies on the effects of both good and bad marital relationships. His study reveals several other things including the benefits of physical and mental activities. If your mind is filled with positive thoughts, your systems tend to function well.  The benefits are reduced risks of depression, anxiety disorders, psychosis, post-traumatic stress disorders, and phobias. What’s more, you will relatively reduce the chances of injuries from accidents. On the reverse, if one is filled with negative thoughts and feelings such as those brought about by the passing of a spouse, the person experiences what is called the “broken–heart syndrome.” The chance of developing this condition usually affects more men than women, according to Gottman.

Dont suffer the Negative Health Effects Of Marital Stress have a Marvellous Marriage

There are many factors behind diseases and disorders such as bad diet, lack of exercise, and other bad practices. Not many people connect health to marriage, but they can be interrelated. Your relationship has a deeper impact on your body more than you ever thought of.

 

 

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Posted by Marvellous Marriage - December 8, 2017 at 5:18 PM

Categories: Developing Healthy Relationships   Tags: ,

What Couples Need To Do To Keep Their Marriage

 What Couples Need To Do To Keep Their Marriage

keep marriage save marriage
Image by epSos.de via Flickr

Keeping a marriage healthy is challenging. It becomes even more challenging especially for a couple whose relationship is falling apart. They might be considering filing for divorce in order to free themselves. But for those who are still willing to try to save their marriage, they might want to consider these relationship tips and give their relationship another chance.

Keep your Marriage requires preparation and some work.

Dealing with issues in a marriage needs mental and emotional preparation. Going through divorce can be devastating.  There’s no one prepared enough for this. Somebody’s bound to get hurt, frustrated, and dejected going through the process.

Talking to each other and being open about things are just some ways to saving a marriage. Communication is very important in any relationship because it fosters understanding between partners. They will only know what went wrong if they learn to sit down and listen to each other. It isn’t always easy, but if they are really sincere in making things work, their willingness will show in their efforts.

Couples should also consider visiting a marriage counsellor. Forget about the stigma of getting professional help to make one’s marriage work. There’s nothing wrong with seeking advice. Counsellors have enough experience about this type of situations and can provide practical solutions. This is a good option for couples who are desperate for anything to bail them out of a mess.

Nasty fights and unnecessary arguments should be avoided. Problematic couples tend to fight over small things. Arguing, even if their aim is to sort out their issues, won’t help. It would be best if the husband or wife speak their minds and express their feelings while maintaining calmness and gentleness of tone. That is, to stop being defensive if they want to be heard.

If you are serious about keeping your marriage do what ever it takes.

These tips can help improve your relationship or may even save your marriage. Going through marital problems is never easy, but it’s never too late to patch things up with each other.  Before you think of divorce, consider saving your relationship first as you have many chances for a happy marriage.

 

 

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Posted by Marvellous Marriage - December 2, 2017 at 5:16 PM

Categories: Making Marriage Work   Tags: , ,

Tips On Talking with your Spouse

First dance as husband and wife
Image by newwavegurly via Flickr

Tips On Talking with your Spouse

Conversations with your spouse won’t always be easy. There may be times when you intentionally avoid talking to each other, but remember that if you have nothing to say to each other, you’re compromising your marriage.

Here are ways to deal with difficult conversations and topics:

  • Look at your expectations.

Know what you want to achieve with your conversation. Is it to express your feelings? Is it to fix an issue? Is it to confirm something?

  • Respect your spouse’s feelings.

No matter how upset or angry you are, remember that you shouldn’t hurt your spouse’s feelings as he or she also shouldn’t hurt your feelings. You may not agree with each other all the time, but it helps if you respect each other’s views.     

  • Choose your words and tone.

Words are powerful. There are people who still live with emotional scars years after being told hurtful words. Use words that make your message clear and easy-to-understand.  Words and how we say words have a deeper impact on others more than we realise. Don’t try to beat around the bush. Be precise. Be direct but not hurtful.

  • Choose the right time.

There are issues that need to be discussed sitting down or wide-awake. Don’t try to broach a serious topic when your spouse looks like he or she is having a bad day, is upset or fatigued, or plain sleepy to listen to you, unless the matter is very urgent.

  • Don’t try to manipulate your spouse.

Don’t force your view on your spouse. He or she is entitled to his or her opinions.

  • Choose the right location and setting.

Talking to your spouse about a serious subject in a noisy club or in the supermarket isn’t very wise. Choose a private and quiet place where you can talk without disctractions.

  •  Don’t interrupt.

Let your spouse finish what he or she has to say before saying anything.

  • Non-verbal clues matter.

It’s not only the words that move a conversation. There are other clues that tell your spouse your stand on the issue or your level of interest in the topic. Eye contact is a must. Shrugging can mean either you’re not interested or would like to talk about other things. Yawning means you’re bored and would like to be alone. Doing other things like watching TV or reading the newspaper while talking is a no-no.

  • Be prepared.

This is especially important if you’re talking about a sensitive topic. Back up your concern with proofs and facts.

  • Reach an agreement.

You can say your conversation or discussion is successful if you’re able to reach an agreement. But if you and your spouse have different views, making compromises isn’t exactly a bad result.

  • Get some help.

If you still can’t fix your issues, seek help from a counsellor or mediator.

 Above are just Some Tips on Talking with your Spouse

 

 

Here Is someone Else’s Tips on Talking with your spouse.

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Posted by Marvellous Marriage - December 2, 2017 at 5:17 AM

Categories: Healthy Marriage Tips, Tips For A Successful Marriage   Tags: ,

The Stop-Divorce Process For Different Types Of Divorce

The Stop-Divorce Process For Different Types Of Divorce

Divorce Your Speed
Image via Wikipedia

Stopping the divorce process is difficult, but it’s much easier if you’re the one filing. Although the methods of the stop-divorce process vary depending on the type of divorce filed.

Stop-divorce process vary depending on the type of divorce filed

The no-fault divorce proceeding is the easiest to stop. It basically means that the person given the appeal has no legal rights in ending the marriage but only the person who filed for divorce. All you have to do to stop the divorce process is write a letter declaring your intent, have the document signed by your spouse and attorney as witnesses, and have it authenticated. Then, present it to the judge handling your case as early as possible.

The most difficult stop-divorce process is the at-fault divorce

The most difficult stop-divorce process, on the other hand, is the at-fault divorce which is only accepted in the state of New York as of the moment. An at-fault divorce is complicated because proof from the husband or wife should be presented in order to substantiate the reason for dissolving the marriage. Stopping the divorce proceedings includes sending a letter to the judge and presenting evidence in the form of a video, voice recording, or authenticated letter proving that the couple have patched things up.

Below Divorce classifications require a simmilar stop-divorce process as the at-fault divorce

The remaining types of divorce are similar to the no-fault divorce concerning the nullification process. Classifications of divorce include uncontested divorce, mediated divorce, summary divorce, arbitrated divorce, contested divorce, and collaborative divorce.

Stopping the divorce process is one of the best decisions you can make, that is if you strongly believe that you can still work things out and still value your marriage. It is, without a doubt, worth trying. Stopping the divorce process is challenging; reviving your marriage is much more challenging and takes a lot of time. But if you’re determined to face the challenges together because you’ve realised that you still love each other, it is reason enough to give your marriage another shot.

 

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Posted by Marvellous Marriage - November 30, 2017 at 5:17 PM

Categories: Causes Of Divorce   Tags: ,

Marriage Counselling Can Help Save A Marriage

"Her master and commander" (har har)

Image by Tom Purves via Flickr

Having problems in a marriage is normal, and it can help you grow as a couple. But when things get too complex, seeking marriage counselling might help save it.

Through marriage counselling, you can air out your problems and thoughts as counsellors are unbiased third parties who won’t only listen to you but will also guide you on how to handle issues the right way. They won’t solve your problems for you; however, they will help you understand your problems.

Talking about issues and the reasons behind your marital distresses in the presence of a mediator certainly does achieve something.  When your problems are too complex, trying to solve them on your own won’t create a significant change. It’s highly likely that you and your spouse will never be able to come to the table and talk peacefully especially if heated arguments have become your daily fare. There’s also the issue of the avoidance of opening up and expressing feelings as these can result to more flare-ups. So, couples tend to bottle up their hurts, resentments, and anger.

Marriage counselling will be profitable only if the spouses are open to change and are determined to save their marriage. It’s easier to throw things away if they don’t mean anything to you. But marriage is definitely not one of those. Exhaustion and daily stresses in life might affect your relationship with your spouse. You lose sight of your dreams and goals. Marriage counselling can help you reassess your marriage. Things may not change quickly in your relationship, but you’ll definitely get there. Patience is the key.

Marriage counselling, though, isn’t for everybody especially when there are other factors involved such as children and violence. Counselling may help solve things, but it’s not everything you’ll ever need to fix your relationship. You have to complement it with the right attitude. Marriage counselling should be considered when you and your spouse can’t find solutions at home anymore. It’s not an assurance that everything will be alright in a snap, but it’s a constant reminder that marriage can be saved when you work hard for it.

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Posted by Marvellous Marriage - November 28, 2017 at 5:17 AM

Categories: Marriage And Family Counselling   Tags: ,

Marriage and Children – What You Should Know

Do you want children in your marriage?

This  is a question posed by many marriage counsellors seeking to give some  guidance  to  young  couples  in  new relationships to prepare them for marriage and parenthood.  Having children is a serious subject that must be agreed upon by both partners to ensure that conflicts will be avoided.

Mother and Child, 1939

Image via Wikipedia

There are couples who were happily married but ended up ruining   their relationship due to poor planning and indecisiveness over whether or not they would like to have children. Both partners are encouraged to openly speak to each other about their preferences regarding children to ensure they’re on the same track.

How many children do you want?

It’s  not  always easy in the early stages of a marriage for a couple to decide how large they want their family to be.

Raising  a  child  is challenging – sleepless nights, visits  to doctors, and so on. You have to be financially prepared to be a parent. Oftentimes, because they’re aware of the implications of having children on their finances, couples opt for a smaller family or decide not to have children at all or perhaps delay having children until they’re ready.

What are the implications of having

children?

Romance and Intimacy

Having children brings priceless rewards but can be tough on the aspect of intimacy in a marriage. Because parents are caught up seeing to the needs of their children, they end up too tired to get intimate. At the end of the day, they don’t want to do anything else but rest. They neglect to share thoughts or cuddle up.

Parents  are  advised to find time for each other no matter what, because if their marriage crumbles, their children suffer with them. They shouldn’t neglect demonstrating their love for each other. Being loving spouses is an essential component in the process  of child nurturing. Children of good relationships tend to grow into people with a healthy and balanced outlook.

A  marriage that is devoid of tender loving care may produce  children who will be prone to pursue unhealthy relationships  in  the  future,  in  a  bid  to  compensate  for their unpleasant childhood. The  majority of parents say that having children is one of the most fulfilling aspects of  their  lives. Sadly, some of them don’t feel the same about their marriage.

The existence of children doesn’t  guarantee  a happy or successful marriage. There are instances in which they cause separation or divorce. A couple whose relationship is unstable in the first place, aggravates the situation by having children.  It’s  very  rare  for both spouses  to share the same views in every aspect of raising their family. Some marital problems and tensions take root from the couple’s differences regarding child-rearing, providing for their children, etc…

Time for each other

Both  parents  must  ensure  that they spend enough time together despite all the difficulties they face as a couple. As  much  as  possible, a couple should have at least 30 minutes a day for each other to catch up on the day’s  events. This is healthy for their relationship. Whatever is healthy for the parents is also good for the children.

Divorce and Children

When  a  married  couple faces tough challenges, it’s not  advisable  to  immediately consider divorce  without  sufficient  cause.  Their parents’ wrecked marriage can have a negative impact on the children emotionally, psychologically, and socially, especially when they’re very young.  Work on your marriage if you feel that it can still be fixed, but base your decisions on what you personally feel rather than on pleasing others. “Staying together for the kids” may seem like the best thing to do initially, but bear in mind that the fact that you and your spouse have problems will resurface in the long run. Your children will be affected just the same. But then again, if you really feel that the issues can still be resolved and you still want to be together, fix your marriage.

Divorce or separation may end a couple’s obligations to each other, but not to their children. If you’re divorced and have left home, create a plan with your ex-spouse (even if you’re not on very good speaking terms) to enable you to spend time with your children. Show your children that you haven’t stopped being their parent. Stay positively involved in their lives. It will help lessen the negative impact of the separation on them.

Many couples decide to go separate ways because divorce is an option, but the best option there is is still to love each other and stay together for the right reasons.

 

 

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Posted by Marvellous Marriage - November 27, 2017 at 5:16 AM

Categories: Staying In A Marriage For The Children   Tags: , ,

When You Disapprove Of Your Child’s Marriage

When You Disapprove Of Your Child’s Marriage

Disapprove Marriage
Image by quinn.anya via Flickr

If your child has chosen to be with someone you don’t approve of, it’s bound to have some negative effects on the family. No matter what your views are, it’s important to always keep your emotions under control to avoid destroying the relationship you have with him or her.

Here are some points to consider when you dissaprrove of your child’s marriage :

  • If your son or daughter is not of legal age yet to get married but is planning to obtain a marriage license in an illegal way, don’t give your consent.
  • Advise your son or daughter to think the matter over and over.
  • Take the opportunity to get to know your son or daughter’s partner better. Sometimes, we only form certain opinions of people because we haven’t met them yet.
  • Your disapproval of the partner should not be a reason to reject the views of your son or daughter.
  • Don’t be too negative. Have an open mind.
  • Never stop giving advice to your son or daughter, but not in a way that adds to the confusion of the situation.
  • Trust your son or daughter, but don’t remove your guiding hand.
  • Ask your son or daughter to seek premarital counselling.
  • Don’t create a gap between you and your son or daughter. Don’t ostracise him or her from the family.

Remember even if you Disapprove of your child’s Marriage you do not want to ostracise them

Even though your unwillingness to accept your son or daughter’s partner will have an impact on your family, try to be patient and level-headed. Don’t let it affect your relationship with him or her or make you love him or her less.

 

 

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Posted by Marvellous Marriage - November 18, 2017 at 5:19 PM

Categories: Making Marriage Work   Tags: ,

Ways To Avoid Spousal Arguments

Ways To Avoid Spousal Arguments

Spousal

 

Have you ever had an intense argument with your spouse?

I’m sure you it’s not something you want to happen again. Both parties don’t gain anything from such ugly arguments but a damaged relationship. Most people don’t know how to handle tough situations like these and just retreat, hoping that the matter will just get fixed on its own.

If you don’t want to have nasty fights with your spouse, learn how to resolve the problem without criticising, yelling, and hurling insults. Let the love you feel for your spouse take control and not anger.

It is possible to Avoid Spousal Arguments

There are five things that a couple should consider to ensure good communication in a relationship. Don’t:

  • Argue on who’s right or wrong
  • Bring up past issues or problems
  • Lay blame if problems arise

Do:

  • Respect and understand each other’s point of view
  • Learn to negotiate so that a compromise can be reached

What You Should Avoid Unfortunately, when our spouse complains or verbally attacks us, our natural tendency is to show him or her that he or she is the one who is wrong—while we’re totally innocent. Have you ever told your spouse how wrong he or she was and he or she responded, “Yes, you’re right.”? It doesn’t happen that way. Arguing about who is right and who is wrong leads to escalating frustration. Quit blaming each other. It makes matters worse.

When your spouse verbally attacks you or begins to complain about certain matters, your instincts tell you to fight back and defend yourself. Throwing the blame back is wrong. It only feeds the argument.

Don’t bring up negative things of the past. If your spouse did something wrong long ago, and the matter was already settled, let it rest. Don’t use issues of the past just to prove that you’re right. If you do, your spouse will become more defensive and will be harder to deal with. Throwing past mistakes in your spouse’s face makes things more complicated.
When problems arise, why blame the spouse immediately? Is he or she the only one responsible for the relationship? These are questions you should ask yourself before you open your mouth. Solving problems doesn’t entail blaming and pointing fingers.

 

What You Should Do

Marriage will be filled with nasty arguments and disagreements if the simple don’ts are not avoided. There are two things you should always remember.

 

The first is, understand each point of view and respect it. As humans, we are each entitled to our own point of view. Respect your spouse’s opinions even if you disagree. When your spouse feels that you completely understand him or her, solving problems becomes easier. The second point is to ask for your spouse’s suggestions on how to solve your problems. Brainstorming for solutions is much more peaceful than arguing.

 

 

 

 

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Posted by Marvellous Marriage - November 18, 2017 at 5:17 AM

Categories: Common Marital Problems   Tags: , ,

You Can Use Business Skills To Win In Your Relationship

You Can Use Business Skills To Win In Your Relationship

Win In Your Relationship
Image by jayndori via Flickr

Managing your marriage like you would do a business would help you win in your relationship. It won’t instantly make your marriage work, but it’s a day-to-day journey that you would have to take. The secrets of successful businessmen lie in their dependable customer service that leaves buyers satisfied. Instead of focusing on “working hard” to make your marriage, ease up a little bit, and take this advice to heart.

Win In Your Relationship by know your partners needs

Be a master of your customer’s needs. Fill your spouse’s needs. This is very crucial because when you don’t meet his or her needs, he or she will end up dissatisfied. Know his or her feelings, wishes, and concerns so that you won’t miss out on things.  Make an impression every day. In every business, your target would be to earn every day and satisfy your customers. Impress your spouse every day by showering him or her with attention.

Stop making excuses, and don’t be defensive. When the merchandiser commits mistakes, customers want to know the real reason and don’t want to hear excuses. Do the same with your partner. When you’re at fault, acknowledge that you’re wrong, and come up with a solution rather than be defensive.

Make an effort to achieve a win-win situation. Constantly ask your spouse if by any chance, he or she needs help from you to achieve something. Having a balance in every aspect of your life will make your relationship stronger. Apply your expertise in your marriage, so you’ll be able to fulfill your duties without overexerting.

Combine business with pleasure and luxuriate in it. Let your spouse enjoy and indulge in his or her favourite things after working hard. Engaging in new activities with him or her will strengthen your relationship. Try doing things that you’ve never done before as a couple. Your marriage won’t stagnate if you do a lot of activities together.

Win in Your Relationship by striving to make it the best it can be

Businessmen always strive hard to make their company earn as much to make it successful. They always want what’s best for their business. Be like a businessman in handling your home, and don’t settle for mediocrity. Apply all the skills you have on your spouse as he or she is your most valuable customer. Live a happy life, and be the best manager your family and your marriage could ever have.


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Posted by Marvellous Marriage - October 24, 2017 at 5:18 AM

Categories: Developing Healthy Relationships, Tips For A Successful Marriage   Tags: ,

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