If asked to list down the differences between men and women, the average person would probably take hours to come up with such a list. Physically, men and women are obviously different. But can it possibly be a cause of contention? That men have bigger biceps or that they develop beer bellies and women, love handles? Not much. It’s the mental and emotional aspects that have caused a stir in the intellectual world. Hence, the concepts of male chauvinism, feminism, and double standards exist. Gender differences and inequality – these are what meaningful poems like Adrienne Rich’s “Diving Into The Wreck” are all about.
Too many articles have already touched this topic – men are logical, and women are emotional. Actually, this has scientific basis. According to psychology professor Richard Haier, men have more gray matter in their brains, while women have more white matter. It doesn’t have a significant effect on their intelligence but on how they think.
Men live for activities. Women feed on feelings. Men don’t like distractions or too much talking when they work. Women tend to work better when in a group. Men are generally less talkative. Women, on the other hand, are more inclined to share their feelings. When a man has a problem, he retreats to think it over. A woman calls her friend to talk about the problem. Men tend to be less conscious about looking good. This is basically the reason why they don’t wear makeup or ask questions like “How do I look?” or “What colour suits me best?” Women, on the other hand, like to try diet and exercise fads. But of course, these can be taken as generalisations.
In a relationship, a husband puts importance on giving gifts to his wife. A wife isn’t touched by the gifts themselves but by the fact that her husband cares for her to give her such gifts. Women are more focused on the things happening behind the scene – the reason and the thought behind a gift, a dinner date, or a surprise. What men like is the idea that they can give things to their wives. Men like to provide. Women like to nurture thoughts.
Oftentimes, gender differences and stereotypes are dictated or emphasised by society. We refer to a male president as president. We call a female president a lady president. We’re amused at the idea of husbands staying at home to care for the kids. This same kind of thinking makes some women shine like Danica Patrick and Joan of Arc because we tend to think driving fast cars and becoming war heroes refer only to men. We have so categorised activities and preferences.
Gender differences do exist, but they shouldn’t be a cause of contention. We shouldn’t debate anymore on which is the weaker or stronger sex because the debate will just go on and on. Men don’t have the monopoly of the boardroom and the women, the kitchen. There are male CEOs, and there are female CEOs. There are housewives and house husbands. There are strong men as well as strong women. There are weaklings for men as there are weaklings for women.
Differences should spice up relationships, not divide. And this idea still wins nowadays. This is interesting. Perhaps, it’s safe to say that the things that make men and women different are what create the spark that draws them to have a relationship. A man and a woman are supposed to be different, but it’s amazing how they still end up together.
Couples who have been together for quite some time may literally stop talking to each other, which will eventually become a big problem for their marriage. Working long hours may be one of the reasons why couples don’t have enough time for each other. It may appear okay initially, but eventually, they will feel that they no longer know their spouse anymore. In order to get the marriage back on track, making time for each other and spending intimate moments can save the marriage.
A large number of married people say they’re talking to their spouse but, in many instances, they just end up arguing. Now, this isn’t proper communication. Being married doesn’t mean that you already know everything about each other. It’s a constant get-to-know-me-more type of relationship. Don’t assume that your spouse can read your mind because he or she can’t. You have to express your thoughts and feelings. For your spouse to know what you want, air what’s on your mind. And when you do talk, be amicable, peaceful, and gentle. Talking things out in a calm manner helps you connect, understand, and solve issues better.
Like every relationship, keeping things going is a must. Stagnation creates boredom in a relationship. Do new activities together. Take a vacation, or go out on dates. Enjoy life as a couple because you deserve to be happy.
Learn to accept the truth that no marriage is perfect. Disagreements play a major role in relationships. Without some, your marriage would be very boring. But you have to know that disagreements are different from arguments that will leave you hating each other. Disagreements are healthy when, in the end you respect each other’s ideas and beliefs, while agreeing about the same goal.
Amidst all the challenges, remembering why you married your spouse in the first place will remind you of the love you’re supposed to have for each other. Don’t lose that feeling. Instead, feed that with constant and effective communication and renewed passion. Together, laugh your stress out, and treat yourselves after a hard days’ work.
Happiness is a choice. Being happy in your marriage requires a lot of effort. So, work hard on it because if you truly love your spouse, you would do everything to keep things nice and well.